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So it's the 24th of december, tomorrow is Christmas, my mother's birthday and the day we all have to be jolly-merry-happy. I don't really like Christmas but I don't hate it either -it just seems sort of hypocritycal to celebrate the holiday created because of the birth of Jesus, while we're not really Christians. And off course it's also the feast of the light and the end of darkness and there's presents(well, just for my mum, we don't do the Santa-thing in Holland) and a tree and we see family we don't see the rest of the year. I just don't like commercialized obligations. That sounds very I-study-sociology-and-I-know-everything-better-than-the-rest -of-you-suckers, but it's just how I see it.
So this time of year is one of mixed feelings for me. All the sugarcoated supersweet decorations-stuff makes me want to trash things with an axe while singing 'Oh happy day' but I like being with the family I never see, since I really like them. Fortunatly, some of my family is really interesting and I really love them -I never used to see them more than once every 2 years, because they lived on the other side of Holland- and therefor I love seeing them more. I just think it's lame we only see eachother on birthdays and Christmas. I mean, I love them too when it's not Christmas.
You might think "Well, just go visite them, stop whining to us", but I can't. We might be closer to eachother now, but the trainride is still 2 hours, and in Holland you can't drive a car until you're 18, so that's not an option.
Anyway, I never know what Christmas will bring. Usually I put on a happy face and as the day goes on my fake smile turns into a real smile, but sometimes it doesn't and my smiley face turns into a blank mask, on which point everyone starts asking me if 'something's wrong' while they really don't want to know, which is understandable since they come to have a merry jolly good time and not listen to their seventeen-year-old-cousin who thinks about things too much.
I guess I'll see how my face turns out tomorrow, and I'll try to put my shit aside and enjoy my aunt and uncle's company - After all, its a holly jolly time of year, right? |
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Posted by StareAsMyWorldDivides on 2007-12-24 06:36:43 | Rating: | Views: 37
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I hope your face was smiling...
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Posted by Rajah1116
on 2007-12-27 09:44:29
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