Thoughts.com Blogs - Partners Start 9/6/08

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Partners Start 9/6/08

Physical sexual partners:

Dosh

Clint

Sabryn

Scott

Tim from Connies

French person at nightclub

Conrad and Liam

Tim from Old work

Dave - I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to search for more from life by creating a profile on gaydar and looking for someone to have sex with and possibly partner. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manifest myself as myself talking to myself looking for myself to have sex with myself to better myself of which you end up wondering why you did what you did but remain silent after sexual intercourse for the sake of caring for the other person which is the most dishonest application I can undertake. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to meet with Dave at a coffee house with the prospect of seeing him again to have sexual intercourse with him and have a relationship with him. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have the need of a prospective interests so that I have choice (as it were) to do something or not thus giving myself the illusion of having freedom from myself of which I am more separate than being without the prospective interest. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create within myself thoughts of doubt as to a prospective interest going wrong. I forgive myself or accepting and allowing in myself sedation of everything and desensitizing myself to either extreme of the results of both choices of the prospective interest so as to be able to not worry about the outcome of the prospective interest to the point of not being able to sleep. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing in myself ... I was about to say, 'to not care about anyone,' but that is likely one of the most honest things I did for myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to my mouse pointer going left all the time without me moving it. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that I can have a little light heartedness everynow and then, which is a creation of the mind and thus is separate to myself. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as a reaction to little things around me in word or in thought.

Posted by SpacingVading on 2008-06-09 03:22:58 | Rating: