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| WHY CAN'T WE JUST GET ALONG?
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Why Can't We Just Get Along?
Why is it that when we speak our mind to give an opinion on a subject under discussion, it is held against us? Is it that the listening party wants us to echo their sentiments?. Then why the discussion, if their thoughts or opinions are the gospel.
From as far as I remember I was not one to roll over and play dead if I am not in agreement with a subject. Call me argumentative, but I would beg to differ since I am not one to argue for oppostion sake, though sometimes that can give life to a different perspective.
I've always been in admiration of my buddy who saw all sides of the square and wasn't afriad to challenge, even if victimisation was the end result. I remember my days of sitting on campus brainstorming during our group sessions, where I got blue with anger because I found his oppostion nerve wrecking and annoying , until he admitted that he wanted me to see the different perspectives of the argument, a lesson was learnt and now i have full resepct for his oppostion and the opinion of others.
I could have maintained my immaturity, got upset but i chose to learn that we all can contribute to make a discussion healthier. Needless to say, it's not always that easy in friendships or relationship since intimacy can cast a different spell on the entire friendship, since it's more personal .
In a previous relationship I was constantly accused of being the" know it all". Our relationship took roller coster rides due to the fact that our difference in opinion led to constant and heated arguments. In many ways I silenced myself to save the day, while suppressing the real me as result to act in the best of her interest.
For me I thought compromise would breathe life into the longivity of the relationship , but little did I know. It didnt take me long to realise, that I was stiffling me even in instances where I knew and had proof that my side of the argument was correct.
Looking back at what i thought stood in the way of that relationship has now allowed me to do things differently. Understanding and accepting the differences was where I started. It has allowed me to appreciate a different opinion and understanding each other, I was able to agree to disagree. Beleive me when i said I tried every approach neccessary to assist and since I felt myself the problem I started with me.
I told my friend how it felt, for it keeping it inside only made me an angrier. I tried the approach to let her know how the arguments were making me feel, (when she was calm of course ). I even wrote my thojughts down ( in the fear we might reach the argument stage again).
What I realised help in managing the arguments was that I listend more to her side of the story though I was tempted to interrupt, but i waited until she got her point across.( then I jumped in, but calmly so). I reengineered the entire process now of dealing with my friend which I am happy to report has work to the benefit of the friendship. I realised my approach needed working on, and it was all about the presentation.
Voicing my ideas or opinions became a less stressful experience , since I internalised the fact everyone is not going to like everything you say or suggest. I've know this too well since I started to blog.
Showing an ability to think originally and creatively is respected even if the actual suggestion is not viable. If someone doesn’t fall in love with your idea, it doesn’t mean you (or your idea) are stupid. Maybe it’s not the right time, maybe it’s just not an idea that makes sense. That’s okay! No one shoould hold it against you. In fact, I have realised that since the ordeal with my friend, she incessantly ask my opinion on other things since she knows I have opinions on other things and I am not just sitting back.
I am definetly working on my positive presentation minus my self importance and presenting a welcoming attitude since a negtaive approach can be completely counterproductive.
A lesson was learnt!
Remember, I am not a trained specialist, but a voice with a soul under construction.
Much Love
Chet*
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| Blog Comments
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Good Morning Chet:
I like your new way of thinking and being able to see things in a much different light. God has given each one of us dreams, visions and ideals to share with the world. The world may not like them, but that doesn't mean that they are wrong. Jesus came to share with us what God had sent Him to give to the world, but the world rejected him and killed him, but all that He brought still lives one.
Continue to do what God has purposed you to do, and He will bless you for staying focus on the prize.
Much love,
Davis
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Posted by davistheblackeagle
on 2008-03-28 09:19:59
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I have found myself in similar situations with people. I love a heated debate, however sometimes my views are very offensive to some of the parties involved. Yet, I go back to my old mantra that it's not really what you say but how you say it.
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Posted by BitterSweetNy
on 2008-03-28 17:31:58
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| Views: 98
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