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It is often said that ignorance is bliss. So could the reason be that I'm so miserable be that I know too much. I have often said that depressed people see the world for how it truely is. And you can't explain that to anyone. You either get it or you don't. I'm tired of trying to explain it. I see so much more than most people. I am so different, yet can't explqin it to anyone because nobody believes me or they think I'm crazy. Do you know how hard it is to pretend you don't know something? Do you know how hard it is to ignore what enters my mind? Because the reason you know it is because you picked it up in a way that normal people don't learn things? Forget intuition, this is FAR beyond that.
This is why I'm on antidepressants. They block whatever it is in my mind that allows me to be haunted. It makes it so I can be around people and not know what I'm not supposed to. Half the stuff doesn't matter, but some of it hurts and some of it drives me insane. It saddens me because I'll never stop it completely. I am so plauged by this. I don't want it. I want it to go away. It's a curse. The drugs only work so much. Snippets still leak through. Its what makes me so sad, so overwhelmed, so exhausted and downtrodden. What am I supposed to do with this? It never does me any good. Sometimes I'll misinterpert an image or a voice, but 90% of the time I'm right. And I never act on it and always kick myself afterwards. I don't know what else to say except that this SUCKS!!! I DON"T WANT IT!!!
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Well, I don't want to say I know exactly what you are talking about, but I have a clue. It is very confusing because there is no way to prove what is happening. As a result the gift becomes a burden. Please if you can take comfort in the fact you are not alone.
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Posted by Zombilis
on 2007-12-19 23:45:44
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IF you are thinking that you know what things people are going to do or say before people act them or think them out only jesus was able to do that with judas. some people are creatures of habit and if you watch them close enough you can some times figure out what they might act out next but in know way did you even know you were going to receive this.You are gifted I will give you that much but if you let your talents go to waste by letting yourself drift into this mental state you have conditioned yourself to be in.Move on with your life love your family, use these gifts god has given you. USE Your talented beauty etc.living well was told to me was the best revenge. happy holidays god loves you.
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Posted by BELMONT
on 2007-12-20 18:44:56
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I can't explain it in a way that makes sense to even me, but it isn't reading thoughts. Maybe I just have a stronger intuition? A lot of it is left to me to interpert. Most of the time I nail it.
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Posted by SomethingUnusual
on 2007-12-21 18:20:29
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I would not spend too much time interperting those around you that only will take away from your quality of life . The life you have is the gift it comes from god and your parents.when it comes to men that's a whole different story most of them are thoughtless boy's in a man's body with no reguard for the thing they do to women. It would be a mistake to spend any time trying to figure most of them out you will know when the right one comes along and he's not here yet.Some women I have met were easy to read I called them a 2 page book. They say you should not try to figure out what another person is thinking leave that to the experts.They say let it go move on with your beautiful life that is part of life's lessons. MY brother always said to me that we only put ourselves in these positions we find ourselves at.
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Posted by BELMONT
on 2007-12-22 13:01:51
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I understand where you are coming from, but I think you've misinterperted me a bit. I'm not trying to figure people out, especially men or a man. I don't know how you got that idea...? And there is certainly nothing I need to move on from. I'm tired of intuition. I would rather not figure anything out or know whatever...but I always do. Of course we design our lives through the power of our choices, and you can't resent the life you've created for yourself. There is no one to blame or credit except yourself, and nobody that can change it except you. I know I'm always free to change my mind in anything if I want a different future, or even a different past (yes, that is possible). I don't let my happiness depend on what someone else does. I have given up my life to be the person I am at this moment. I don't know if what I've done so far has been worth it and I'm not going to lie to myself and say it was. A lie to yourself is the worst kind and I won't disillusion myself with it. If I'm unhappy with something or have a problem, the right answer is not always to forget it and move on. Sometimes you have to face these things to be the person who overcame them. I've lived a lot of lives. I've learned the lessons. I'm just trying to remember them all.
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Posted by SomethingUnusual
on 2007-12-23 13:29:38
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If a man or men as you say it does not turn out to be as wonderful as you expected him to be and you are emotionally attacted to him you will naturally try to figure him out that's human nature. If a person is shallow and does not care that's something differnt.We always have to move on in our lives like it or not.Freedom of choice yes but that works both way's.You say you have lived a lot of lives??How many lives have you had.
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Posted by BELMONT
on 2007-12-26 00:22:27
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I've always existed. Everyone has. It's not important how many lives have been lived because they are immeasurable. It seems you don't understand the perpective I come from, so I can't explain it to you.
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Posted by SomethingUnusual
on 2007-12-26 15:00:26
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nothing is immeasurable especially when it comes to the quality of ones life.
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Posted by BELMONT
on 2008-01-17 21:57:55
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Yeah, you've hit the nail on the head
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Posted by SomethingUnusual
on 2008-04-16 14:41:58
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I hope your hand has healed well and things are going well for you at this time in your life the weather has change around here for the better enjoy it always wishing you well belmont.
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Posted by BELMONT
on 2008-04-22 17:23:27
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