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| When the love dies... but still remains...
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Here’s a truth, you can’t enter a relationship KNOWING what’s going to happen. You can’t anticipate how things are going to play out. You can’t expect anyone to understand what goes on… not even yourself. The only thing you have is hope. Hope that she is the woman of your dreams. Hope that her hair feels as soft in your hands as it looks sleek from afar. Hope that she smells of paradise. Hope that taking her in your arms will purge all the tension from your body. Hope that you could lose yourself in her eyes. Hope that holding her hand will provide you with the strength to go back into battle in the war against life. Life, that drains you of itself every second you live.
What do you do then when you enter a relationship with no inhibitions and find your hopes dying away one by one? What do you do then when you realize that you aren’t meant to be? You try to fix it of course! You stir things up, you test the field for mines, and you inspect all the closets for the skeletons you don’t really want to find. You enter a relationship with your guard up high. You put your best foot forward and cautiously unravel the other foot you balance with the good one everyday. This is how you prevent an eventuality. A façade is absolutely useless in the future. All mysteries will be solved. All secrets will remain no longer. This I promise you. But what hits you when you lift the curtain and reveal yourself piece by piece and every piece doesn’t seem to fit in the puzzle of your relationship? It’s an easy decision to make when her pieces fail to fit your puzzle. But when you fit her like a glove, you have something to keep you awake at night. And then there exist those gaps of understanding beyond the reach of human comprehension; when you care about her happiness even though she held your hand and sold you out to life. Those ones will knock your brains dead if you’re not careful.
Let me make it easy for you. You may think you can keep going on for her. You may think that you could be her dream if she can’t be yours. Doesn’t work out that way pal. A relationship is about being in the same place at the same time or at least seeing yourself getting there sooner than later. If you aren’t happy, you will never be able to keep her happy. You will unknowingly drain the red from her cheeks. That’s not what you want is it? Face the facts here; your heart is already broken isn’t it? There’s no way of fixing you up right now. But you CAN fix this. You can’t save yourself from the pain. But you CAN save her from greater pain. You can’t do anything more for yourself here. But you CAN give her something many people wander the stretches of darkness to find. You can give her a lesson. A lesson she will learn and keep in her heart when she chooses happiness in some other mate. You have to leave her; you might as well leave her stronger than she was before you. Hurt her. Of course, if you have figured out all this, you KNOW who she is and what she’s about. Blatantly insult her. Point out her shortcomings. Leave her with everything she could possibly need to get over you. Make it such that when she recovers, she doesn’t let another YOU in her life. Because you just aren’t meant to be with her, someone else is. Make sure that she doesn’t prolong the search for that someone else by falling for another you. It is all you can give her. Once again, all you are left with is hope. Hope that she ends up happy. Hope that you end up happy. So hope my friend, don’t lose it. It’s all you really have…. it’s all you ever will.
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Posted by Slash on 2008-03-05 03:21:06 | Rating: | Views: 197
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When u lose the love, sometimes you lose the hope as well...
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Posted by nichan
on 2008-03-05 05:15:04
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Very thought provoking - thanks made me have a good think. :)
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Posted by EasyToSay
on 2008-03-05 06:09:05
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true. love and hope seem strong hand in hand. but they are such different things though. everything i write is some sort of reflection of my life. my life is a project and i'm. pretty much, a mad scientist. what i write are my findings. they dont have to be correct. they are just things that cross what little is left of my brain and, sometimes, my heart.
when this particular incident happened in my life, i lost the love and i lost hope for myself. but i saw hope for her. i help hopes for her. i'm still holding hopes for her. and hopes for myself have eventually decided to crawl back in to my existence.
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Posted by Slash
on 2008-03-05 14:07:14
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ur an amazing, amazing writer....the way u express urself is incredible...im sure ull get loads of happiness in life...i wish it for u..i feel u deserve it...u love so selflessly..i am so sure ull get it all back...wishing u all the happiness...
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Posted by angelwings
on 2008-03-14 07:58:40
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I want her to be happy and find someone else, but inside I'm screaming because I want to be him. Even if it means tearing apart everything I've built myself into, I would let everything in my life collapse down on me and not care. I want to live through her not me. We all feel as if we we're put here for a reason correct? we all have faith or belief in something? or we're meant to learn a lesson..
I don't believe in a life spent alone. Spending each and every night cold and alone without someone pressing against you. I did everything that you wrote in this post in order to show her that I was wrong, but I reality kicked me and I know now that I have to be the right. I have to ascend above all else to prove that I can be what I preach about everyday in my poetry.
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Posted by SupremeKyle
on 2008-03-22 04:27:40
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hold up Kyle. if you did everything in this blog, that implies that when you did these things, you were at a point where you didn't love the girl you were with.
when i was in this relationship, the two of us went in mutually interested and wanting to find out more about each other. but very quickly, she was head over heels in love with me and she was clearly not the person i wanted to be with. and i kept holding on because i was afraid to hurt her. it was a vicious cycle i didn't know how to escape.
this whole thing was exhausting me to no end and what hurt was that i made her feel these things that i didn't feel for her and i didn't want to continue lying to her and i didn't want her to get extremely insecure about herself because of me if i broke up.
she's a great person and she deserves love. but i couldn't give her that love.
so i did what i did. i broke it off and i went on the offensive. i tried to break her, i tried to push her away, i tried to say everything i could to get her to hate me. i tried in every way to scar her so that when she would heal, she would be stronger than she was with me. i did it so that she wouldn't let another guy in her life and be careless with herself towards this guy. i did it so that she could one day go on to find love in someone who really was compatible with her.
i dont believe in a night spent alone either. but i'd rather be alone than with someone and unhappy. if you're with someone only because you cant be with anyone else, that's desperation and that will never be enough. and that is primarily unfair to the person you're with. if you're in a relationship, you have to care about yourself of course, but your primary responsibility is to try your best to take care of your lover... now and in the future.
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Posted by Slash
on 2008-03-24 18:08:55
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Ok I agree with angelwings and also so trust me someone out there is gonna like you for everything you've built yourself into
-TAY
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Posted by Supporttheflock1995
on 2008-03-27 16:16:08
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