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I read this blog here yesterday. and it was the last time i felt a tear drop roll down the side of my cheek. this blog was a story of the other guy. he talks of standing by, watching love all around him and knowing that no love is his. it was unlike anything i have read. the frustrations were clear. but the hopelessnes was so evident.
and it got me thinking. i wont claim to KNOW how everything is meant to happen. i dont know if there is someone we are meant to love. i thought i figured out these things in the recent past. but events have unfolded in a funny manner. i hoped and prayed for the things that truely did end up happening. but in a different way.
my friday's used to be frustrating because i didn't exactly get what i kept praying for, what i kept wiswhing for. i kept looking up and saw no signs. i was never given the things i really really desired. but it was all straight up and to the point. no tricks. i was straight up denied. nothing complicated.
and yes, it was frustrating. but it was in plain sight and was never too hard to comprehend.
but what has happened in the last few days, i can't really put my finger on. i mean i am actually baffled at the brilliant ironies of life. i mean, its pure genious!! :D
so there's this girl. i love her. and everything that i have written in my last 3 blogs i guess is about her. and i've been building these hopes and dreams. these thoughts have been flooding through my mind. and they have been full of wonderfulness. but i would be wasting good prayers on small eventualities of what i think will happen right? so i pray and hope for the things i want most. i pray for her smile. i hope for her laugh. i wish for the tears never to fall from her eyes. i hope she gets all the love she needs and more.
and all the while i pray for these things, i simply assume these other things that i think are going to be an eventual outcome of these prayers. its really funny how specifically your prayers might get answered and leave you leave u absolutely confused at how this happened.
i cant complain right now. because i know everything i wanted for her has come true. so my prayers have been answered. but i wonder then, should i have left maybe a little prayer for myself? if all these things did come true, then maybe if i had prayed just a little even for myself, my eventualities would have realized themselves too.
if i let myself feel sad, it wouldn't be an action of honour to the higher power that answered my prayers for her. i respect that power incredibly for giving her everything i wanted her to have.
so even though my love wishes to scream the helpless screams, every bit of my honour, my eithics deny me that luxury. the luxury of trying to cry away that pain. and i am willingly forced to smile and be content.
this is an entirely new friday. i friday i have never known before. i guess its fitting for a love i had never known before.
but i will say, touche sir. i cant help but admire the cunning. i cant help but appreciate the brilliance of the move.
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Posted by Slash on 2008-04-16 18:52:33 | Rating: | Views: 101
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the other guy thanks slash for pondering his words. and the other guy can see some similarities in your first friday. the other guy wishes misfortunes upon those that have caused your pain.
the other guy has been stripped of hope so he cannot hope for u. the other guy has nothing positive left to give. so the other guy will wish misfortunes upon those that make you happy instead...
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Posted by theotherguy
on 2008-04-16 19:06:38
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thank you otherguy, for stopping by. well, i expected you would after i mailed you about writing this blog after yours.
but this is not a simple web. there is no1 in this situation on whom i would deem any misfortunes. if there are any misfortunes left, i would rather take them myself. because the happiness of everyone involved directly influences my lady's. there can be no appearance of pain.
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Posted by Slash
on 2008-04-16 19:18:35
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apologies. in the last line of my first comment i meant 'make u UNhappy'.
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Posted by theotherguy
on 2008-04-17 00:00:57
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Oh, I thought the other guy was metaphorical or implied:P I didnt think it was "theotherguy".;/
Um,...weird science?
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Posted by brainstormer
on 2008-04-18 00:31:44
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