For i know today i am in Gods hands. My prayers lately have been more about wanting to know Jesus more. wanting to act as he acted. To be about his business and nothing else. That his will will rein over my life. And boy has he been listening. I think God really exposed/showed me my heart last night. I

In church when i tithed, on Sunday, i proclaim "i am not a slave to money, money is a slave to me" but have i really been walking in it? this is what i really have to search myself about.

I talked to my pastor last night about my need for a job in my field. Being a recent college grad i am struggling with trying to find a job, while working at a temporary one. Well, i claim that I will go wherever God wants me to go, and do whatever he wants me to do, but when someone gave me a hypothetical situation of working a job @ $10.00 an hour, doing something I didn't want to do, i cringed. more then that i became upset, frustrated. why would God call me to do that kind of work, for that kind of money? doesnt he want more from me? All the while forgetting what i had prayed. "Lord i want to be like you"

After our conversation that night i went in my room, and wept, and wept. i just didnt get it. but thats the problem. it was all about ME. I never even considered what the Lord would have for me.

I think that this has showing me more and more about giving up myself. not my will Lord, but thy will be done. So what if i work and am underpaid. will God not still provide for me? if i am faithful in the small things, and just believe, didnt he promise he will never leave me nor forsake me.

so now again its just me and Jesus. no permanent job, no permanent residence, no car [of my own] to drive to and fro. just Jesus. But he says cast your cares on him, cause he loves us. His eye is on the sparrow, so I know he's watching me. He is my hope. He will provide. I know it. i believe.

so i conclude this by saying, yes lord i Will give you all. yes Lord i will work wherever. yes Lord my heart is open. Yes Lord.

If you feel like you cant do something, that is not in you, just remember:

you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.

and i will remember this to.

peace to all.

be blessed today.