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The Wise Old Man on the Mountain

Today I went to see the Towers. Part of my job takes me to Cell Towers on occasion. I went with Scott to the towers today. I followed him. Scott drives like a bat out of Hell- and he never ever signals. Following him is a challenge. You end up relying on Psychic power and the will to live.

On our 4th tower we ran into Bob. Bob works for my company and as it turns out- he was working on one of my jobs. After Scott and I finished up- he left me alone on the mountain with Bob. Bob is old enough to be my father- he might actually be old enough to be my grandfather. He is a good guy. I like him- he works a rough area and he has always been super nice to me.

I had been wallowing in the decision all day long. What do I do? Do I put in yet a third offer on that house? What happens if we go on Strike in August? I would be stuck with Two house payments. I had been crunching numbers all through my lunch. I wanted to call Joey but the last time I called him I woke him up. So, I sat there alone and wallowed in my decision. I told myself that I really thought I might actually be okay- that is unless we went on strike.

To be honest, I never gave Bob much thought. We stood there in the freezing rain talking. Well, Bob was talking I was listening. He has a handle bar mustache that he waxes the tips up on. He was dressed in a Red & black checked flannel shirt with camouflage pants. They are both neutrals right? It's almost a uniform for the men in my area. Every time I see it I find myself wanting to cover my face and scream "My Eyes!"

Bob started telling me gossip that he had heard. All of it sounded like very good news for our company which is a welcome change to the regular gloom and doom I usually hear. He told me he had heard from what I consider a very reliable source that we would not be going on strike this time around. The company said they simply didn’t have the manpower to keep everything running without us- so they were probably going to cut a deal at the last moment.

I am always wandering around looking for signs as to what I should do. As I stood there on that mountain talking to that old man I felt this peace. As if God Himself was sending Bob to reassure me that everything was going to be okay. Maybe it was the Freezing cold rain beating me in the head. Maybe it was the altitude, the brain does funny things at high elevations- but I just had this peace. I felt like life was just opening wide the doors of opportunity for me. Maybe I could actually make this work.

I left Bob to his job and made my way back down the mountain. I was still all aglow from my new found peace. I prayed all the way back home. Please God tell me what to do. I am scared. Doubts stormed back into my mind before I had even made it half way home. I guess when I started to thaw my inner peace wore off.

It is Friday evening I am home and I don’t have to go to work tomorrow. But I am still all worked up over work crap. I am all tangled up in silly office political things that are going on. Under normal circumstances these things would slide off of me like water off a ducks back. I remember once there was a giant office fight going on. The boss took me to the back room gingerly trying to determine who’s “team” I was on. He asked me what I thought of the situation and I told him this- “I don’t give a kitty. These people can pick teams go out in the hall and fight- I don’t care. I come in every day on time do my job then go home- all of this other stuff is just background noise.”

Usually I am grounded enough that the little things simply don’t bother me. I am missing my support structure though. Joey is gone- that’s the big one. I never realized how much I need him. I have told him before that he is my ground wire. Maria has been consumed with her own life so I don’t see her often. I don’t see Lynn much anymore either.

Ultimately the bottom line of this whole thing. I am going to have to do what is best for me. I am going to have to make a choice and then live with it- either way. As for the people around me, they can only take from me what I let them have. I’ve just got to stop giving things up.