| View Blog
|
|
|
I remember watching a video taken at an animal refuge right before the tsunami. The people working at the animal refuge knew something terrible was going to happen by watching the animals. They were running for higher ground. Animals that usually have a predator/prey relationship were running side by side. They were all terrified- but not of one another. It was like they knew that there was something more terrifying right behind them.
Tomorrow I have to spend the majority of the day with Joey alone. We have a field visit that requires a lot of driving. We will be spending a few hours alone in the truck together. I am terrified. There is this wild animal part of me that wants to run away in fear.
Today wasn’t as bad as yesterday. We had a lot of company in our office today so he was on his best behavior. He still managed to hug me 4 times. He would sneak up on me and hug me. He is so cute about it, and I really don’t want to hurt his feelings but at the same time, it made me uncomfortable- good Lord man- you’re back together with your wife!!
He told me again today that he would have had more fun if I had gone with him instead. I told him he would have had more fun with the Toll Guy down the hall but that wasn’t the point. He just laughs. Everything I say is funny to him now. At first I thought maybe he was just being nice to me because he was afraid he had hurt my feelings. He picked her over me- he went back to her. But it has been awhile now, and things have gotten…weird.
I love Joey. We have a great time together. He is the only person I have ever met in my life that I can be 100% me around and I don’t have to worry about him judging me. We are comfortable. Like putting on your favorite pair of shoes- he just fits. I enjoy spending time with him. We work well together- we are a good team.
I have my garden class on Tuesday nights. Joey expressed great interest & wanted to see my book. He kept saying he had wished that he had signed up for the class. No he doesn’t. I told him about the class weeks ago and he laughed at me. He has asked me if there are any men in my class, I’ve told him it’s mostly male and the idea of me hanging out with a bunch of men after work freaks him out.
He has never been this way with me before. He grills me every week trying to figure out if I am seeing anyone. He wants to know if any guys are calling me. It appears to be more than a casual interest. It is a daily inquisition. I walk most evenings after work at a local mall. He was just sure that there were guys there. He kept asking me- I kept telling him no. Finally, he decides that he really wants to start walking too- so he tags along. Every male we pass he goes out of my way to tell me he is sure they are gay, or a pervert or whatever.
It has been challenging. Maybe I am over analyzing- tomorrow everything might be back to normal. I miss Joey. I love Joey. But I am not going to spend my life living on scraps from another woman’s table. He picked her- now he needs to live with that choice.
|
|
Posted by SimpleSugar on 2008-01-22 21:54:11 | Rating: | Views: 63
|
| |
|
|
