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| Quiet There's a Girl in the Room
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I have this theory that whenever 3 or more men are gathered together an event takes place that I like to refer to as “penis alignment“. During the “penis alignment“ process all manor of cussing and lying takes place. If you are from the south there is typically a lot of spitting involved. And given a long enough time line there will be the rather inevitable titty conversation. (It is shocking just how much time men dedicate to these mounds of flesh).
If a female is within 50 yards of the herd, it causes a great disruption in the “penis alignment force”. The entire process breaks down. Conversation in the herd will stop. The men will cease moving about- they will stand and stare like sheep waiting on their herding dog.
For the record. I am not hot. I am not even toasty. I am a piddley run of the mill fat chick. Big hair big eyes…well big everything. We all pretty much look alike in my neck of the woods. I am nothing special by any stretch of the imagination.
I work in a male dominated field. Actually in a building of almost 100 employees, I am one of about 6 females. I am the only one under 35- and one of two under 50. We had a giant company meeting today. They packed all of us into this huge conference room to listen to a director’s speech. I entered quietly looking down, holding my coffee cup. A quiet hush fell over the room as I entered. No doubt they sensed a disturbance in the Penis Alignment Force. When I looked up they were all just looking at me. Just staring. Not smiling, not talking, just staring. Silently watching me walk across the room. It was almost like they were thinking in unison “if we are really quiet she will think she is by herself and maybe she will take off her top.”
No one wanted to sit on my row. I had empty chairs all around me. I felt like I had a sign on me “leper unclean”. Finally, some of the older guys came in and sat with me. They are my adopted Dad’s. The one’s that are 25 years my senior and I’ve known them forever. We had a nice time, laughing and joking.
I love men. For the most part they aren’t catty. I mean, a man would never walk up to you and say “wow, I really love your hair”, and then when you walk off tell every one around him that you look like a hooker. Catty is typically a female characteristic.
Men know things. Interesting things. You can walk up to one and say “Hey, my car is stinky. Not like on the inside, but after I drive it for a little while it is stinky on the outside.” And they can tell you what is wrong! They have connections. It is as if all that time they spend in penis alignment is really networking. They may not know how to do a certain thing, but you can bet they know a guy that does.
I just don’t understand why men, especially men my age, always act as though if they say hi to me I am going to think they want me. I’m not.
Ok, I know there are things I am good at doing. I am good at my job. I am good at organizing and learning new things. I am good at jumping in the deep end and learning to swim fast. I am fearless when it comes to tackling new projects.
I’m not good with men. Not men my age. They stare at me- I stare back. No one says anything. I am shy and kind of stick to myself. I assume he doesn’t like me at all. The next thing I know word gets back to me that so and so says I am a snob. What the Hell? I’ve tried speaking first. I tired it today actually. I offered up one of the men eye-balling me a nice friendly smile and said hi to him. He shuffled about and dropped his head. He muttered a hi and then sat on the row behind me. It was like he was embarrassed that I spoke to him.
I suck at being single. I suck at it. I always end up with these guys that are total jerks. I end up with them because the nice guys don’t want me. I end up with the guys that think every woman in the world wants them. Instead of being with a nice normal plain sane guy. I’d give up a months pay for one that wasn’t crazy for a change. I am not cruising for a co-worker here. I am just saying, life in general, I could really use some pointers here.
What exactly do nice guys want?
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Posted by SimpleSugar on 2008-01-15 21:49:23 | Rating: | Views: 171
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move to the northeast, or out west. There are a lot more normal guys (and girls) up here and out there.
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Posted by NewYearREZ
on 2008-01-16 10:36:25
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nice point, that is true, when men have that blank stare when you walk in the room, its like waiting for a signal or a dog to tell him what to do! LOL
Thats true, good perspective on that subject!! :]
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Posted by Krystal_sins07
on 2008-01-16 13:37:55
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Penis alignment. I like it. It makes complete sense. But guys don't know what they want. They think they do and as soon as they get it they're lost again. Believe me it doesn't matter if your ugly or pretty guys just don't know.
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Posted by beaner7104
on 2008-01-19 00:54:14
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Penis alignment. I like it. It makes complete sense. But guys don't know what they want. They think they do and as soon as they get it they're lost again. Believe me it doesn't matter if your ugly or pretty guys just don't know.
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Posted by beaner7104
on 2008-01-19 00:54:18
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You got a good idea there lol... but sometimes (and I can only speak for myself) If i am hanging with a few guys and we are talking about things that well guy talk about and a girl comes up and we stop... it's out of respect. I mean I know girls talk about men just the same way we talk about women lol but out of respect for the most part I am not going to talk about femal body parts right in front of a woman... but again I am only speaking for my self.
I wish you luck on your quest... I am a nice guy and I know what I want... the problem is, I may as well be looking for a unicorn lol
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Posted by DouglasMB
on 2008-06-04 12:26:54
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