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JOEY

The day Joey came back from his vacation I was off. I was in the city taking my mom to the doctor. He called me twice that day. I can’t tell if Joey is worried about me- or if he just missed me. On Tuesday, I came back to work. We went to the field. We didn’t need to- Joey insisted that I needed to get out. He was right.

We talked and laughed. We had such a nice time. When we got back to the office Cindy called him to let him know she would be staying out of town that night. I could hear the frustration in his voice. Cindy routinely stays overnight in the town she works in- even though it is only an hour away from her house. Joey called me on my way home from work and asked if I would call him and wake him up the next morning. This is my duty whenever Cindy stays out of town. I am his back up wife. Not quite good enough for a real wife- but I will work as the occasional alternate.

He called me again late last night. “Hey Baby you want some hot sex?” He kept trying to flirt with me. He finally got around to the reason he called. Cindy’s car needed to go to the shop and he wanted me to pick him up at the dealer and take him into work.

I picked him up this morning and took him into work. When we got there a couple of women from another department were standing outside talking to the guys. These women are total sluts. They are famous for being sluts. The blonde one chased after Joey hard- a few years back. The brunette used to be really good friends with Joey. I naturally feel a twinge of jealousy whenever these women feel the need to mark their territory in my building.

I walked past them and simply waved. Joey stood around and talked for a couple of minutes. Upstairs Rob, Jason and I stood at the window making fun of the tramps outside. They were surrounded by a pack of men by this time. We had fun.

Worked for awhile then Joey decided I needed to get out of the office for awhile. We went to the field. Joey was super nice to me all day. When we went to lunch he told me something. He told me that he and Cindy had a fight over the weekend. She got mad and hit him- in the chest. The man that just had by pass surgery. She hit him- in the chest. He made excuses for her. She hadn’t taken her antidepressant medication for a few days. I asked him if she said she was sorry….his answer was inaudible, then he changed the subject.

We sat in my office for our conference call. I muted my phone and we sat and talked and made fun of our co-workers. A girl he used to date had a death in her family. He said that she had 4 kids and he was very glad he didn’t end up with her….because that was too many kids.

Then he looked puzzled and told me he had two women that he had dated in his life that he often wondered what would have happened. He said he regretted letting them go.

I was dropping off an order at his desk, he brought up the subject again, and then implied that one of the women in his life he regretted letting go- was me.

I was stunned. I love Joey. I have been in love with him for years. I honestly don’t think that I will ever feel this way about another man in my life. But he didn’t pick me. He had that moment of truth where he had the opportunity to be poor and happy with me…or to go back to his ex and be rich and miserable. He chose the latter. He doesn’t get to string me along- I am not his alternate wife. I am not his back up- just incase his nut ball of a wife decides she is done with him again. He made his choice.

I miss him. It’s only been a few hours and I miss him. I am so stressed right now in my life….I do wish that I had someone- that could help me. Life has become so hard.