I took Friday off. I bought paint, planning to redo the spare bedroom. I looked at furniture. I dreamed. And then I went to the bank, and I suppose left my dreams there. It’s funny in the weeks leading up to this point all of the bank people I spoke to said my 5% down payment with my debt to income ratio and credit rating would be more than adequate. I believed them. I am glad I didn’t trust them.

I went to see the bank lady. The great worker of miracles, the master of fuzzy math was 30 minutes late for our appointment. She didn’t bother to call me, just let me wait. She looked at my D to I ratio and told me I could easily afford the house I had picked out- actually I could go much higher. She frowned at my 5% down payment. Over the phone it was fine no problem…but now I could see the gears turning in her mind. She decided she would rather have a 20% down payment. And to get it- she would suck all the equity out of the home I have now, and then some. Refinance your old home to the limit and a good bit over. She would “make it work” she said with a wink. I thanked her and left. I wonder how many people she has made it work for in the past- that are now losing their homes. I have lost the big sky house for a third time.

Before my meeting Joey called me. The reason he had brushed me off the other day was because his mom was coming over. He talked. He talked a lot. It was wonderful to hear from him. We talked and laughed. He appears to be doing a little better. He seems very short tempered now days. Little things set him off. He seems particularly ticked at Cindy. He said Cindy and his mom were wearing him out. I told him it was because they love him and they are just trying to take care of him. He told me maybe his mom- but Cindy was just negative- she definitely didn’t love him.

Joey’s foul mood has me wondering if perhaps his personality has changed due to the open heart surgery. I have heard that when people have heart attacks or open heart surgery that often when they come back- they change. My dad changed after his heart attack. I hope that is not the case- I desperately want my Joey back. I think, it is just concentrated Cindy.

Usually Joey is in a super surly mood on Monday. Joey and Cindy fight every single weekend. When the weekend is finally over they can no longer stand the sight of one another. By Tuesday, after being away from her for awhile, Joey is typically back to his usual happy go lucky self. He has now had 4 solid weeks of concentrated Cindy- with no breaks in between.

I ripped out the old carpet in the spare bedroom today. I did some cleaning. It wont be long I will be slapping paint up on the wall and having new carpet installed. Perhaps I should try to sell this place before trying to buy something else. Maybe I could sell this place right out from under me. I could be homeless. I’ve never been homeless before. Maybe I could live in an apartment I‘ve never done that either. Most of my stuff is already in storage. Hey maybe I could move under the interstate bridge…looks pretty dry there. Man this sucks.