Thoughts.com Blogs - Again Today

It happened again today...I felt left out and out off place. Today was a half day and I have Rowanty for 5th block but we didnt have 5th block today so all of the Rowanty students had to sit in the commons until 11:45. Everything was fine and dandy until my best friend and her new best friend ( did i mention the girl that is her new best friend she completely hated her just last year?? ) boyfriends showed up and they tried to get them to sit at our table, but instead the were somehow persuaded to sit with them. So of course I didnt go over there b/c i do not fit in with them at all what so ever. I feel like a @#$@!%$ speck on the #@!$ wall or maybe something even more insignificant. She knows that too but yet she insist on trying to get me to sit over there, but i didnt!! I mean i dont give a rats star star star who she hangs out with but they're just the type of people that talk about you as soon as you leave and you know they talk about you so i dont even put myself in a position to have to deal with it. It doenst even piss me off that she pretty much ditched me for him but what gets to me and im sorry to say she's being kind of hippocritical...In the 8th grade there was this boy in our class that i kinda liked but i never really told her b/c she couldnt stand him and he couldnt stand her. Well in class one day i dont know if it was a joke or if he was serious but anyways one of his friends asked me if i would go out with the boy but i said no b/c i didnt know if it was a joke or something and i didnt want to get played like that. After it all happened she was like ( i qoute exactly ) " If you would have said yes and ya'll started going out then i would seriously not talk to you as much or hang out with you as much b/c i can't stand him!! " Now when i actually think about it it's kind of dumb to be pissed off about this now but not really b/c i have a right to be after what she's pretty much is doing now!! I really dont know whether i like her new friend or what but even if i didnt i have never ever once told her that would stop talking to her if she were friends with this person or dated that person. So am i the better friend or am i just making a big deal out of nothing or should i just not care anymore?? I think ima bout to just not CARE b/c it's too time-consuming and it's using up all my energy and it's making me @#!$%@# sick...