Once again I think I can handle buying strong caffeinated drinks. “They will only be for emergencies,” I tell myself. “I’ll only use it if I feel I absolutely have too, but I won’t have too, they are for my husband for when he gets those unexpected overtime shifts.”
I guess having them in the house is too much of a temptation for me. I tried to quit drinking soda, but when there is vanilla coke in the refrigerator it basically calls my name and I feel like I have to answer. It’s silly because when I quit drinking soda before, and I actually remember feeling like I had more energy, and I read that cutting back just one coke a day is equivalent to cutting back 15 pounds a year. So why wouldn’t I want to quit for good?
As for the stronger caffeinated drinks or other forms of caffeine, I always feel better about life when I don’t have them in my system. It’s strange, because the reason I originally drink them is to try to feel better about life. Every time, however, it only becomes a temporary fix, for the day, and sometimes not even for the day. Sometimes I feel sick and weirder on the drink. I also feel more nervous than I would feel normally.
Because I feel more nervous, I lose more confidence and become too self aware sometimes.
Looking back, I have been a happier person without caffeine. I have developed lasting friendships without it, and felt closest to the Lord without it. I also sleep healthier and have less nightmares. I’m more relaxed about things and life seems to have less awkward moments. I’ve noticed coke doesn’t seem to change my attitude as much as it does my weight. It’s the energy drinks, and other forms of caffeine that make me feel like I’m not quite myself. I want to say goodbye to caffeine for good, but I’ve been saying that for over a year now. What is it going to take? I think it’s going to take a change in what I buy and put in the house. From now on, I can buy Adam’s nasty energy drinks that I know I don’t drink. Maybe a coke is okay every once in a while, but definitely not as an everyday thing.
another day. . .
I’m mad at myself for letting the caffeine spiral consume me. I was supposed to go today without any caffeine but my head hurt pretty badly so I drank a Monster. I knew that my headache was because I didn’t have any caffeine today. It seems like such a small simple thing, and I don’t think it’s too much of a problem if it is controlled. To me controlled means more moderate than everyday. An energy drink a day is too much. That’s what I’ve been doing lately and it’s upsetting. I don’t feel like myself as much as I would like to.
| Views: 47
Email This to a Friend 