Most of my readers know that there has been a lot of crap going on in my life latly and for a little while I was beginning to feel that I have forgotten who I really am I felt like I have forgotten myself, most days I wasent waking up untill 2:30 3oclock in the afternoon. I wasent happy with myself, Being that I am a rocker chick I listen to heavy rock music and traditionally head bang! well it had been forever since I did that last. My boyfriend suggested that if I feel that I have lost myself that perhaps maybe I am not doing what I need to be. I knew that, that was not the problem since basically ever since my dad went away I have been taking care of everything the dishes, my room, the living room, the litter box, school work and on top of all that a babysitting job and a writing course because you all know that I want to be a writer......its not that I am complaining I'm more than happy to help my mother out in anyway that I can, but its not that I am not doing what I am supposed to because I am doing what I am expected to and more, so it must be somthing else.

     After giving my dog a bath (which he needed badly) I decided to take a shower myself since I was pretty confident that I wasent going to go anywhere else the rest of the night. After drying off completely I slipped into my pajamas and started blasting some music for my to dry my hair to, then a System of a Down song came on! suddenly I just lost it and started head banging like I use to. You never realize how Truly Therapudic somthing like that is untill you havent done it in a long time. Now I just know that some of you are thinking how on earth can head banging be therapudic, thrashing your head around getting dizzy, well like screaming it really works ( for me anyway) so the next time you are feeling down or like you've lost your way TRY IT! just throw on a high energy heavy rock song and just let go. If rock is'nt your thing screaming works as well. I hope you found this interesting, who knew finding yourself was as easy as looking into a steamed up mirror and rocking away!