“I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream.”

Ahhh, that delectably delicious treat; the one edible delight I could live off of for the rest of my life and be happy. I would need nothing else (except maybe a good personal trainer and frequent insulin shots).

So many sacrificed Friday nights have been dedicated solely to this secret love of mine. Friends call and invite me out but, what a shame, I am “sick” again. But, oh, if they even understood the love I have for this creamy indulgence…it has become an obsession; a reason for my current hermit-like tendencies and that extra 10 pounds on my waistline.

Cuddling up with Ben and Jerry has entirely overtaken my desire to cuddle up with Chris (that’s my boyfriend’s name by the way…at least it was the last time I checked).
Dreyers, Haagen Daas, Moosetracks, Coldstone, Baskin Robbins; hell, I’ll even settle for the generic store-brands. I want it all. Lowering every standard in my life just to make room for that one pint (okay, pints) has become a natural part of my life I have come to terms with. But can you blame me? Ice cream doesn’t argue with me, it never fails its role in my life as that quiet and dependable comfort and I never have to worry about taking ice cream home to meet my parents.

Yes, it has become more than a vice, a habit, a release-it has become a full-blown affair.
I have even given up on answering my front door (my family must be worried). But it’s not like I’ve lost all desire to leave my couch and bask in the company of other human interaction. Trust me, that sounds just lovely. It’s just that I can’t seem to make my way past all of the empty ice cream containers that are now barricading my doorway.

I will seek help for it one day though, I swear. I’m already on the right track to rehabilitation. I mean, the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, right?

Although I have to admit - my outlook on any near-future recuperation seems a bit unlikely since I’ll probably die of a “double chocolate chunk” brain freeze or triple bypass surgery first.

But, there are worse ways to go, I guess.