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| Introduction |
I guess I should start off by telling a little about myself. My name is Patrick, I am twenty four years old and I live in Waynesville, NC. Just last year I found out that I have a mental illness known as schizoaffective disorder. All of my life I knew something was wrong with me I just didn't realize that it was as bad as it is. While growing up they all thought I had ADD but as I got older the sickness started to take more shape. I was hearing voices and having hallucinations. I was under the delusion that I was being chaced by demons and monsters. On top of that I suffered from depression. I've always been drawn to the darker side of life. The side that no one wants to talk about the side of darkness and death. For as long as I can remember I've struggled with suicidal thoughts and I would often cut myself with a razor or burn my flesh with a lit cigarette. The cutting and the burning was the only way I knew to calm the angery voices. Last year is when I had my mental meltdown. I was thinking about killing myself on my birthday but my friend had called my mother and told her something was not right with me, that I was not acting like myself. My mom picked me up and took me to the ER and after I was released from the ER I was told to go to the Balsam center. The Balsam center is a place for people with mental and drug abuse problems. I ended up spending two weeks in the Balsam center and that's when I learned that I had what they call schizoaffective disorder. I am now on 12mg Invega and 40mg Celexa. Invega is the antipsychotic and Celexa is my antidepressent. In my blogs I will try to tell of my life as it was before my medications and how my life is going now. I hope you will enjoy reading the schizoaffective blogs.
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