Do we need to be digging up your back yard to uncover the bodies of. . .

Just kidding. I'm sorry about your struggle with these feelings. It might be worth while looking into professional counseling of some type.

you probably have a deep connection and if you are in the process of working around, and expanding your issues of time, as joseph said, a regular pattern will most likely do something good, but in a way we are all dead, and this lifts us out of the maya of which we are a part, as a collective.

you should be getting more control of your life, and your happiness, if you are conscious about those things that make you happy, and focus on finding the things that make you happy, the things you enjoy....

one thing in the woowoo circles is said, is that you have to accept your own death, but not many people go to any great length to explain it, or perhaps they dont understand it....

time is an illusion. movement is an illusion. its a strange thing, but very special to be coming into awareness of it...and if anything tries to hassle you in your head. tell it to get real. that's my favourite thing to say, or find something that gets rid of it whether its play acting, beating the crap outta a rock or something and focussing the energy of what is bothering you into the action you are doing (um. i try to keep it to a minimum of violence, but sometimes im left howling at the world)

the thing is...keep it playful, and look for the Love. Source is looking at you...

(I sound weird, don't i? ;)

counselling is good if you want to enter the consensus reality again, which is depressing, spiritual counselling on the other hand helps lift you up to different places....and im not talking xtian, that'll get you pegged. other places, every place, look for the truth and the beauty: the Love.

(i'm scizoaffective bipolar disorder as well, just in case you were wondering ;)

don't let'em tell you ur crazy, you have a SPECIAL connection to the universe and after a while it calls you to come home, and im not talking about the death kinda going home, its....special.