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My innocence is gone. Gone, I tell you. Whisked away in the winds.
...Not in the way you're thinking, Gifta. Don't act like you aren't thinking along those lines, because you ADIDAS (inside joke, others)
No. The link to this mind-boggling nightmare is here. It's a fanfiction review, as the snipets of the story were gruesome enough, not minding the entire story.
Any Final Fantasy VII fans out there, I have the feeling this will make you scream bloody murder.
Any Tifa fans out there, don't read. Please, for the love of God, don't read.
Now, this is basically porn. I don't mind, most of the shit I read is some form of porn. And some of it is good. Quite good. Some are so explicit my virginity is screaming I don't need to know that his **** went into his **** and he was fondling his **** while ****!!!! But I enjoy it anyway. This, however...
First, Tifa is out of character. She's a tough lady, not a slut.
--Oh, and before I forget, this contains yuri, which is sort of lesbian love. I've never actually touched one that I trully liked, but I'm not prejudiced against it (I'm bi for a reason). Most of my stuff is yaoi, or guy love stuff, and I can find one or two good het stories.
Umm, let's see what this contains...atrocious grammar, for one. Don't know why people make shit that goes like:
"Can we stay a night?" "Sorry all the rooms are booked" "WHAT!!!11" "Im sorry maam but its treu."
Just writing that gives me the shivers.
Badly written porn. "OOOOOOOHHH!!!! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"(...). Good porn makes you interested. Bad porn makes you feel incredebly stupid for reading it in the first place.
Cross-Species breeding O_O. This is around the time I started fearing for my sanity. A human lady is, for one thing, raped by a chocobo, which is basically a giant chicken, which is also, by the way, impossible (being raped part), and the author of this insanity makes her say "IT'S SO FURRY!"
For one thing, furry? For another, I can assure you men that if a female was raped by a giant chicken, her first words would not be "IT'S SO FURRY!" I imagine it'd be more along the lines of "HOLY MOTHER OF GOD HELP ME!"
But maybe that's just me.
Next (actually before, but less disturbing), an original character *reads text*...shaves Tifa's bikini line into a chocobo head. I'm wondering 1. what this author's on, and 2. what type of razor they're using.
Here's the most disturbing part of the whole read.
Tifa gives birth to a chocobo. In a few hours, with no umbilical cord.
WHAT THE FUCK.
Now I know this was written by an insane male. Because remember, this is porn, meant for someone to get off on. NO lady's gonna get aroused by child birth.
Next, the breastfeeding afterwords is "erotic." Scuse me, but that's a beak. I'd be screaming bloody murder if that happened to me.
Lastly, horrible spelling mistakes. If ANYONE knows what a "thung" might be, tell me. It's been believed to be either a thumb or a tongue, but I'm not quite sure what the hell the fanficcer meant by this.
Anyway. The link is only a review, not the story. You actually get a lot of laughs from the review.
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Posted by ScarletBlack on 2008-06-22 17:18:11 | Rating: | Views: 90
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Damn, if anyone ever needed a hobby its you. I dont only think like that. I have excellently G-rated thoughts most of the time. My thoughts are only rated R for gruesome violence (like fighting come on dont be like that).
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Posted by Gifta_Carla_Belikov
on 2008-06-25 10:09:01
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Mmm...My hobby is reading good fanfiction. I obviously failed this attempt.
And I really don't believe you have G-rated thoughts most of the time.
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Posted by ScarletBlack
on 2008-06-25 18:06:19
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I love fanfiction 2, but i is not allowed to read it.
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Posted by anime_freak7
on 2008-06-27 10:54:12
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I love fanfiction too. I read it when I get the chance.
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Posted by Kaykay200
on 2008-06-27 11:10:23
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Kaykay, I don't think that's such a great idea...I think I've lost most of my sanity because of this.
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Posted by ScarletBlack
on 2008-06-27 18:11:16
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Holy crap!!!!!! what plant is the dude on.who in there rite mind writes something like that?!?!?!?!?
hey,SB, speaking about FF's, im havin a prob w/mine. can you help?
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Posted by BlackRoseWriter14
on 2008-06-28 11:35:39
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Holy crap!!!!!! what plant is the dude on.who in there rite mind writes something like that?!?!?!?!?
hey,SB, speaking about FF's, im havin a prob w/mine. can you help?
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Posted by BlackRoseWriter14
on 2008-06-28 11:35:44
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Sure. Mail me ^_^.
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Posted by ScarletBlack
on 2008-06-28 15:56:26
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