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Dear Dad,
Could you please stop playing your guitar? I want to talk to you face to face. No, Dad; put the guitar down.
Did you ever notice we never talk? That our "father-daughter times" are just awkward silences? Or can't you see that? Do you care? Or do you just hate me so much?
But for hate, you would have to feel something for me. That's right. You don't give a shit about me. All you care is that your daughter gets good grades and all that. Your daughter got B's? "You really need to get cracking, Scarlet." Your daughter weighs just a bit too much for your taste? "Scarlet, you need to work on your weight." Your daughter gets 2nd place for the Invention Convention in 4th grade? "Oh, that's nice. Are you going to exercise tonight?" Perfect daughter. No less.
Bet you hate that I'm not popular. That I'm one of those geeks that hang out with the "goth/emo" crowd. Well, I can't help that I'm not shallow. And no, I don't think all popular kids are superficial; I just think that most are. You want me to be friends with the same girl that laughs at my real friend behind her back? Yeah, right.
Perfect, Barbie doll daughter. That's what you want. Good grades, lead cheerleader, prom queen, ROAD scholarship, beautiful bride. Well, I'm not. And it's not like you give me any confidence boosts. You've never called me "princess", even though I'd probably scowl at that (but inside, I'd be glowing). You've never lifted your chest with pride and said "That's my girl." I can't remember if you've ever told me that you love me.
Likewise, I can't remember the last time I said those words to you.
Mom and you aren't married. Are you just sticking around because you want to feel like a good father and boyfriend? Well, your guise is transparent. You obviously don't care for me, and you don't love Mom; you just don't like seeing her get mad. Well, you know what? People have a right to get mad. Mom had a right to get mad at you, even though it seemed like for no reason. And you didn't really apologize, unless you call that pansy "Look, I'm sorry" an apology.
I'm just a mistake to you, huh? I'm a bastard child, unexpected, unwanted. You just stuck around because you felt guilty. I get it. I also heard you aren't on my birth certificate. How's that for a good father? Do you just not care enough to get on my birth certificate? To say "Hey, this is my daughter. She's mine."?
I don't hate you, Dad. I just think there's such a rift in our relationship, we can't build a bridge to fix it.
And quite frankly, I don't care enough to try.
~Scarlet~ |
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Posted by ScarletBlack on 2008-08-01 02:15:43 | Rating: | Views: 62
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you no how to get over that is by saying fuck you then dad and stop hanging around depressed people.
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Posted by osibob
on 2008-08-01 02:21:34
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:( I'm sorry to hear things between you and your Father aren't going so well. Did you actually send this to your Dad? If not, maybe it would be a good idea? But I dunno, I don't know the guy. He kinda sounds like he wants other people to think of him as a model Father, but he just can't pull it off.
My Dad's pretty similar, he's never taken any pride in me at all, but he always portrayed a false image of happiness and perfectness to anyone who asked, but all I ever get is critisism. He's verbally and at times physically abusive too, but Mum and I can't get away from it. Either way, if you need someone to empathise with you over this kinda thing, here I am. :)
Best of luck. :)
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Posted by Mezlie
on 2008-08-03 06:08:07
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Wow, I'm sorry to hear things aren't so great. Did you send this to your dad? I can relate a lot and I know how you feel to not even have your father say good things about you. Hope everything goes well. :]
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Posted by Jesskunup
on 2008-08-04 11:39:59
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... the end.
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Posted by alesis
on 2008-08-17 09:35:38
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I'm so sorry you and your dad are not getting along now, I really hope you can find some way to rectify the relationship. A Father-Daughter relationship can be so wonderful. I hope you can have a loving and functional relationship one day, best of luck dear, you're in my prayers.
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Posted by Sunshine63
on 2008-08-18 17:59:38
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