Thankyou for all your comments! I love it when you all comment y'know, i'm so pleased of how many i got!
Today New teachers, new people, new life starting on Friday. But am i seriously ready for this? I keep asking myself, and the answers always "yes, of course you are. You're only moving, no biggie." But is it? Ohh i don't know what to think anymore, my minds a complete state.
First things first; I think i've fell out of love with Joshua. I know, I know what your thinking; "You silly cow! How can you DO that to somebody!" But i'm not going to LIE! Gosh. I haven't told him this yet, i'm hoping its a passing feeling.. but i'm not sure this time. I'm just not sure. The sparks gone, and alls i live for now in my love-life is feeling warmth next to me at night; and i can get that from any man. What the hell should i do?
Oh, and heres the next bit; Theres another guy, well, two actually. Yup, you also heard that too.
The first guy, who i'm going to call: A. He's really sweet, talks to me lots, and actually CARES about the grades i get and is helping me achieve three A'a so i can get the car i want. He's just been... THERE for me lately, y'know, listening to everything i have to say, sitting through the crap that i talk. I've even told him things that i feel that i haven't told Josh. So its no wonder i'm keen if he's giving me this kind of attention..
The second guy i'm going to call him: B. I saw him for the first time in around six-seven weeks and my heart went BANG! Y'know that fluttery feeling you get? Well, that. And i used to like him JUST before i got with Josh, because he's sooo amazing, and always knows how to make me laugh, and always knows how to make me blush or feel good. I noticed him glancing at me a lot today, and staring directly at me to make me blush, too. Which is weird, he usually looks away when i spot him.
Whats going on with me? It's not like I'm set out to hurt these people, it's just i feel theres something there with all, except Josh. Oh, what should i do? I can't believe this is happening; and i'm so fucking horrid i'm not even SAD! I feel RELIEF if anything! Oh, please tell me what to do, i need guidence... I need someone to tell me to stop being a silly bitch and start doing the right thing. But what IS the right thing? Please help me.
SayOk
Posted by SayOk on 2007-09-05 16:13:35 | Rating: | Views: 231
Only a couple of days ago, you seemed to be mad about Josh (he is the one you've been seeing for five months?) You wrote that you couldn't wait to see him after your holiday, the sex was great etc etc. Now there seems to be a change of heart. Now a change of heart doesn't normally happen by itself. Has something else happened to make you change the way you feel, or is it simply that your head is turned by someone else, or more than one?
Perhaps you need to ask yourself why your emotions seem to be so fleeting and if any man would be right for you, if you jump from feeling elated one minute and looking elsewhere the next.
How old are you? May seem like a nosy question, but you do seem to be too young to keep your mind on just one relationship of the heart. We used to call it being fickle. Anyway, I think you should stop getting 'serious' with one person, and just let yourself 'like' a lot of different people until you find one and only one that you want to be with. Of course, you may not find the 'one and only', but to keep saying you are seriously in love and then in the next minute( when some other guys treats you a certain way) you are in love with someone else shows your immaturity.
Ohh Honey, you are still young, in fact you are the same age as my eldest. And if I was having this conversation with her I would tell her what I am about to tell you.
Don't rush anything, take your time and explore the world. Finish you schooling, have fun with your friends. That might mean you will have a few short term releasionships along the way before you find the "one".
And I am not saying this to hurt you but what you think is love for Josh may only be an infactuation. At your age you are going to be slipping in and out for awhile. Before the "one" hits you.
So don't be hard on yourself. Enjoy life and explore the world and have fun doing it.
KP
Ok, one person once asked me to change my font, it was distracting, I appreciated her feedback and I did it, it did not matter to me...well, I have a request of you, and you will not hurt my feelings if you decide against it. But, could you make your font a little bigger? welcome back
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