I can't take it anymore!

I can't keep being with these people.

They drive me insane, they hate me, and i hate them. They decieve me when i've been loyal-they lie, spread secrets and spread things about others.

Why do they do this to me? Can't they see i don't need this?


Lifes grim at the moment. My family is slowly crumbling; arguing all the time.. Y'know.

My social life is nothing it used to be, the people who i called friends i've grown apart from and the people i'm thrown in with make it their humor to lie, cheat.. make fun of others, even me. I don't get it.

I'm going to Paris this Sunday too. I was looking forward to it until i found out my partner is a criminal! Whats happening to my friends??

Also, no word from Josh. I made it pretty obvious i wanted him here, on time-no missing trains and having to drive to another town to collect him- so he goes out with his friends. Some boyfriend huh? Right before i leave. Shows how much he cares for me..


I really do just want to run away. I want to find the person i used to be. Before the new friends, before the name-calling, before i knew, before i cared about what people thought. I want it all back, i'd happily do it.

I just want to run away. Run to a beach, sit and write poems. Watch sunsets and take photographs, be with people who love me, read books, learn, write stories, be who i used to be. I want to be alone too. I want to sit in an open field filled with long, sandy coloured reeds and read for hours and hours. I want to sleep, sleep on my bed. Sleep for hours. I want to cuddle up to Josh and feel him near me, feel his warmth. I just want to get away.


I'm feeling pretty low right now.