I wish i had you right here now, wrapping your arms around me, keeping me safe and not letting me go. I wish you were here making me giggle, making me smile and lifting the weight of the world off my tiny shoulders.

You're my rock, my best friend and the love of my life.



And your gone for a week. A whole week without you. I'm crying as you write this. I wish i could tell you all those things, all those things that are locked up away in my head. The secrets, the lies and my feelings to you, Joshua. I just want them to escape-i want them to come blurting out and you love me back  no matter what, no matter how far i took it.



I just want you here again, lying on my bed, kissing me gently. Holding onto the back of my neck. slowly sliding your hand around my shoulder, down my back and onto my ass-i miss that! Will you do that one more time before you leave me for a week? I want you here beside me.

You drive me crazy. You've turned me into an obsessive bitch. You've changed me, you've made me grow up. You make me cry, you make me angry. You make me sooooo upset i scream. Sometimes i just wish i could get away from you. And you know what? I just love you. I love you. And i wish i could say it to you one more time, and hear you say it back, whisper it in my ear, let me watch your lips telling me those three magical words. Let me feel that fluttery thing i get when you touch me. Let me get goosebumps one more time, just because you glanced at me.


Come back? I need you. I dont think i can go on.

I love you so much Joshua, and i want to shout it to you, i want to scream it, i want to cry just because i can. I want to laugh so hard i forget what i'm laughing at, i want to get so angry the world washes away in my rage, i want to dance until i get a stich, I want to get so hot i sweat until my clothes stick to my body, I want to run as fast as i can, i want to sleep for a thousand years, i want to eat so much i dont want to for another three days, i want to gaze up at the beautiful stars and think of our time together. But not without you Joshua. Not without you, i dont want to do them without you with me!

So come back! Because its weird not having someone beside me as i fap away. Its strange not feeling your warmth soothe me, Its upsetting knowing your just not...there. Do you see now?


Joshua i need you. I really do. I hope somehow you read this blog and run back to my house and hug me forever, never letting me go.


Kiss me one more time?