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| Your Opinion Please: on FWB |
If you read my last entry you know that I conceded to have Darren over for a few hours this afternoon. Darren is young, sweet, and completely infatuated with me, he tells me he loves me and wants to marry me. He buys me expensive gifts (despite my insisting he does not do so) and writes me poetry. I have told him in no uncertain terms that I am not ready for a relationship despite the little rebound fling we had when I separated from Declan. Darren is emotionally immature and not in the right place for a relationship either in my opinion.
If I were a selfish and unscrupulous person, I would use the fact that Darren has such feelings for me, and use him for sex, validation and think OK, you're an adult, you know how I feel, if you get hurt on your own head be it, but I do care about him, he is a sweet guy, I don't want him to get hurt. I told him I don't think he could handle a FWB (Friends with Benefits) type relationship, despite him saying that he would be more than fine with it, and while of course he would rather be married to me, or in a relationship, he would gladly take what he could get.
While I have no problems with friends with benefits, and think it is a brilliant idea if you have two people mature enough to handle it, I worry about getting involved in an arrangement like this with Darren, knowing that he wants so much more, and I can't give that to him. I have told him he needs to get on with his life, I know he wants to wait for when I am ready for a relationship, and I have no idea if and when that would be and definately if, I were ready, would have no guarantees I would have a relationship with him. Darren has a lot of growing up to do, but is it fair and reasonable to give him what he wants? Is it right for me to be selfish, and take the awesome sex and validation, for no commitment in return for him?
My instincts tell me it is far better and fairer to not encourage his feelings by considering this arrangement, when I am so unsure and unable to trust my own right now.
What do you think? Comments Please.
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Posted by SageCalvert on 2008-12-23 07:35:17 | Rating: | Views: 74
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