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XXXXX. fuckidy...XXXXX...fuckfuckfuckFUCCCCCCK. Explicit Content
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i'm not allowed to stay home alone now
because i might kill myself.
i'm not allowed to be in control of my own medications anymore
because i might kill myself.
i'm not allowed to be upstairs a
ll the time now.
because i might kill myself.
might. MIGHT being the key word.
i don't...
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Posted by:
SJLack on 2008-05-15 16:45:55
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Views: 27 |
# Comments: 0 | Tags:
depression
hospital
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hospital.
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i've just spent....37 minutes short of being in the hospital for a week,
under suicide watch. nothing has really come of it aside from i have ANOTHER counseller,
and now i'm on anti despressants, AND sleeping pills. which i am waiting to kick in,
which..i can feel they..are.
what a long,...
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Posted by:
SJLack on 2008-05-15 02:25:55
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Views: 25 |
# Comments: 0 | Tags:
sleep
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sleep... Explicit Content
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i will do anything to obtain a good nights sleep.
taking melatonin isn't working, taking more isn't working.
i will seriously go as far as putting myself in a coma if i have to.
i need sleep.
i want sleep.
i don't want to be woken up.
i.
just.
need.
some.
XXXXX....
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Posted by:
SJLack on 2008-05-07 01:22:02
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Views: 49 |
# Comments: 1 | Tags:
sleep
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back to the ER again today...i wish my doctor was Explicit Content
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house
we will do more tests.
FINE DO YOUR TESTS.
uh..so...your tests came back fine..
your..liver enyzmes are mildly high.
...that means?
OH WELL YOU ARE PERFECTL
Y OKAY.
XXXXX you. UFCK YOU. XXXXX YOU.
obviously not.
i just about XXXXX passed out for no legit reason....
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Posted by:
SJLack on 2008-05-06 21:04:24
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Views: 32 |
# Comments: 0 | Tags:
hospital
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seriously though..
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i should start writing, drawing and such again.
i need to do productive...ish things.
i also need to finish my maths.
teaching yourself maths is...hard.
i suggest never doing it..
i think the aspirin made me dehydrated.
i'm so thirsty...
can you survive of just liquid?
man. i wish...
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Posted by:
SJLack on 2008-05-05 20:28:44
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Views: 38 |
# Comments: 0 | Tags:
coma
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blahblahblah so depressed right now. Explicit Content
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those...50 t3's and aspirin are calling my name.
but no, shouldn't die until after august.
i just want to stop feeling like this.
and i know i am the only one who can do that.
seriously doctor
s.
just give me some pills and let me not be like this.
i don't even care about the...
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Posted by:
SJLack on 2008-05-05 01:53:10
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Views: 51 |
# Comments: 0 | Tags:
depressed
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i...may of taken one too many pills..
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or...6 or 7..
instead of the recomended 2 or 3 for my body weight...
i took..10.
they arent sleeping pills, but they aid in sleep.
so i googled it..
no side effects, no overdosing thing.
ect..
well actually...looking again..
there are.
but whatever.
i doubt anything will...
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Posted by:
SJLack on 2008-05-03 01:47:27
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Views: 38 |
# Comments: 0 | Tags:
pills
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the doctors here suck..
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so..in a span of less than a month,
i will have/had 2 possibly 3 doctors appointment.
and seen 5 or 6 different doctors/surgeons
attended to by roughly 16 different nurses,
had a bunch of tests done,
i think there were...13 or something.
and spent 4 days in a hospital.
and what have...
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Posted by:
SJLack on 2008-05-01 21:17:45
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Views: 35 |
# Comments: 0 | Tags:
doctors
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stabbitystabstabstab Explicit Content
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why am i even here?
i have nothing to offer anyone.
why am i in such physical pain?
i haven't caused it. what the XXXXX is?
why is my mind such a mess?
better yet. why can't anyone fix m
y physical pain.
painkillers do not work.
doctors suck. last time they gave me morphine,...
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Posted by:
SJLack on 2008-04-29 22:26:46
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Views: 39 |
# Comments: 0 | Tags:
romeo and juliet
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i killed a person. Explicit Content
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CAN THINGS JUST NOT STAY GOOD FOR LONGER THEN 3O SECONDS?!
today, for 30 seconds, i felt HAPPY.
but noooooooooooo
now i'm back to being depressed, angry, and irritable.
i swear to XXXXX god.
i am about to go on a murderous rampage.
i can't even CRY anymore.
you know why?!
NO....
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Posted by:
SJLack on 2008-04-29 21:26:33
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Views: 74 |
# Comments: 0 | Tags:
hate
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can you do it like that?
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Once, there was a wise old owl, whom all the forest animals thought was God, for he could see in the dark.
I have a thing for the number three. I make patterns of blinking, stepping, fidgeting with my fingers, with repetitions of three, and six. When I'm in the car, and we pass a tall...
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Posted by:
SJLack on 2008-04-29 13:17:23
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Views: 61 |
# Comments: 0 | Tags:
different
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lalalalasomadlalalla Explicit Content
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she went against my wishes, i have lost all trust for her.
infact, i'm not telling her things anymore.
counsellors are pathetic.
now i'm probably going to have to see another one.
wooo. kill
me now.
i hate this.
i was so mad, i stormed out, slammed the door, threw stuff down the...
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Posted by:
SJLack on 2008-04-24 20:30:40
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Views: 56 |
# Comments: 0 | Tags:
hate
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is that a glimpse of hope shining through? Explicit Content
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by george...it may be..
i've given up...on everything..i don't even care anymore.
i failed at everything.
suicide, life, fixing myself, ignoring the problems.
ooooooooh typical teenager.
suicide, the XXXXX way out.
well XXXXX. whatever. i...am too emotionally drained to put up a...
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Posted by:
SJLack on 2008-04-24 03:29:26
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Views: 72 |
# Comments: 4 | Tags:
hope
depression
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i...kind of just hate life right now..
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so much..
i won't list all the reasons.
but here is one.
today i talked to the councillor,
she is making me see her AND another councillor regularily apparently.
my planning teacher made me tell him what was wrong.
just because i said i was feeling not so great.
he said do you want...
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Posted by:
SJLack on 2008-04-21 18:36:21
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Views: 67 |
# Comments: 3 | Tags:
stress
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XXXXX everything. Explicit Content
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i broke my stress ball..
i need help.
i'm just too scared too ask for it.
i'm going to the councillor tomorrow,
i will tell her about hearing things and seeing things..
and my paranoia
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Posted by:
SJLack on 2008-04-21 02:38:55
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Views: 93 |
# Comments: 3 | Tags:
help
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extreme state of paranoia... Explicit Content
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i'm afraid to move lately. Not moving houses, just moving in general, i'm afraid to get out of bed.
The fact that anything and everything can get me. I hear voices, voices telling me to kill myself, vo
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Posted by:
SJLack on 2008-04-21 02:28:22
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Views: 86 |
# Comments: 1 | Tags:
numb
paranoia
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Posted by:
SJLack on 2008-04-14 18:28:52
Average Rating: No Rating |
Views: 241 |
# Comments: 6 | Tags:
hospital
iv
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so XXXXX dumb. Explicit Content
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that's right. i am so XXXXX dumb.
i just have to remember,
people out there have it worse,
and i need to stop being such a whiney little XXXXX.
just have to remember about the guy iyc sponse
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Posted by:
SJLack on 2008-04-08 02:20:02
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Views: 80 |
# Comments: 3 | Tags:
GROW UP
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trait Explicit Content
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There are some people, real people. They get in my face, right up in my face. Preach, preach hard, it's annoying. Really, XXXXX annoying. I punctuate each word of an anti-climactic sentence solely because it makes ever
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Posted by:
SJLack on 2008-03-30 03:15:00
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Views: 94 |
# Comments: 0 | Tags:
trait
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HDSFBHBDFH grrr
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i need sleep. so bad...
but my mind won't let me.
fdgnhdghdj
i hate it i hate it i hate it..
the veins on my hands..or arteries..
are bulging out so much. it's scary.
i think they might pop or something..
tragic AND messy.
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Posted by:
SJLack on 2008-03-27 05:49:22
Average Rating: No Rating |
Views: 76 |
# Comments: 2 | Tags:
sleep
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