My boyfriend started a blog. Hes a better writer than I am (although I kick his butt at the grammar and technical aspects of the deed) and it irks me a bit. I dont know why because, truth be told, I am pretty much better than him at, like, everything. He says I sound like a lot more of a bitch than I actually am... and hes definitely right. lol. Anyway, since he started one that he updates regularly (apparently its creative writing and about two youngsters that have fallen in love and just started their life together in holy matrimony... cute, huh?) I felt the need to pick this up. yay. haha

So, yeah. its 1:02. and im in bed by my own will. Kaley and Jessica are at the Chi Phi house (yeah, we're college students lol) but I decided to stay in and get some rest. and by rest I mean watch 3 episodes of the O.C. my guilty pleasure... and my roommate and I have been addicted to them for the past three weeks. lol. But yeah, now sleep...

Im obviously getting that done.
 

I think I need to figure out what I want to do with my life. So much pressure for a lass of barely 19. Im supposed tobe finding myself but I cant because Im feeling all of this pressure to make a decision about careers and the future. ugh. I just.... everyday I find myself douting my ability... and desire to be a doctor. I mean, thats been the goal for as long as I can remember, "Shelli's gonna be a pediatrician..." Its still true that I get this strange rush whenever I help kids like put a band aid on or anything else involving making them "feel better." and even more... I really think Ill devestate my parents if I dont keep up with this. Med school has been the reason for like everything so far in my academic life. Without that goal, I honestly have no idea what Ive been working so hard for since I was about seven.


This is a problem. Maybe hes right. Tommy (thats boyfriends name) says I needed to have fun dreams when I was a kid. Im starting to think that perhaps I just needed more than one...


okay. Ill sleep now.  I think after my next history test Ill try creative writing or something of the sort in here.

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