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Ode To My Cheating Ex Husband (some more)

The Discovery

There she was,
Standing there,
In front of me.
Close enough to touch.

Close enough to kill.

Standing there
In pageantry…
Uncivil.
Discourteous.
Contemptuously delighted with her loathsome self.

She was underestimating my abilities.
It was a grave mistake.

Because, I saw her.

I saw more
In one glance
Than she sees,
When she admires herself,
Her conniving, corrupted self,
In the mirror.

Seeing the reflection of her monster
In my eyes,
She turned away from me.
My eyes mirrored what
Her magic glass did not,
My eyes told her,
In that fleeting second of time,
Told her,
Demanded that she understand --
With out question,
With out hesitation,
With out any spark of skepticism,
Who she was.

And even worse,
What she was.
And that I knew these things,

I knew their secret was out.

The three of us,
Standing there,
Close enough to touch,
Close enough for me to kill….

Ah yes,
It was delicious.

An aroma deep in the back of my throat,
I breathed it in,
This unconscious,
Yet incontestable confession they made to me.
It frightened them,
Being on display,
In front of me…
It was delicious
For me to drink,
And I did,
A wicked satisfaction was quenched.

My eyes told them
That I saw,
And that I knew!
And I knew,
They saw it too
As she looked deeper at him,
Seeking a plea,
Seeking a defense where there was none,
For she did not yet understand,
Being a novice at this game they were playing,
She did not understand --

That there is no honor among thieves.

How could he tell her that?

There,
In front of me,
The victim of their deception,
How could he explain this to her now, in a way she would understand…
And forgive?

I didn’t look to see the blank sadness
Which would veil his face now.
Her expression had said enough.
There was nothing left to do.
She went one direction,
He went another.
And I went with him.

Two broken hearts lay littering the grass where
Abandonment and abomination had been discovered,
And
Dismembered.

Two broken hearts,
Bleeding,
Stomped into the grass,
Laying in the sunshine to rot.

And that was fine with me.

But he could not let it go so easily.
Excuse was made to follow,
A lame, but logical excuse,
Over told.
Over emphasized.
A little bit over eager…
And told again,
Explained again,
The logic of the chase
Emphasized again with too much care as we walked in her direction.
It wasn’t her we were going to see,
Really,
Honest!
She’s just with people he did need to see,
He didn’t want to see her,
He hoped he wouldn’t see her,
But she was there,
Unfortunately!
She might very well be there,
With the people he did need to see…

I trailed behind him,
Knowing where he was going,
Knowing why.
Knowing that if he got there,
Two less hearts would lay in the grass,

Replaced
By mine.
.
But she was not found that day.

No,
Not that day.
But there was tomorrow…he knew that.
Tomorrow,
Away from my prying eyes,
Away from my knowing heart,
Away.

There, away from me,
They would make their apologies –

To the person
Who wanted them,
To the person
Who desired them,
And yes,
Who even required them…

But that person
Wasn’t me.

_______________________________________Copyright shawnee johnson September 1999 All Rights Reserved