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| One Last Time - Scribbles On the Wall Challenge #2
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I knew what I had done as soon as the door closed. A single tear fell from my eye as I reached into my pocket to pull out a small razor blade; just about the size of your thumb. As I smeared the razor between my fingers, making sure not to remove any of the existing blood; I could feel my heart finally begin to regulate.
Then I heard a creek come from down the stairs, it sounded like the front door opened. I quickly ran into the bathroom to grab a few peices of toilet paper to lay across my arm to keep any drip from falling down.
"Denim! Are you home? It's Dad." I could hear my Dad yelling from down below, as he took off his shoes. "If your here, come down, I want to talk to you."
"One minute! Just putting on a new shirt." Well I was putting on a new shirt, but that was only because the old one was covered in a red crust that I could not possibly hide.
And so I calmly went down the stairs, my hands and arms behind my back, my arm quivering from the friction of cloth against my newly made wounds.
"Are you feeling OK?" My dad inquired, curious of my random squirms.
"Oh, just fine, I replied" Unsure of how to answer.
"You dont look so well. Maybe I'm just tired."
"I'm sure thats it, Dad."
"Well, anyway, I just wanted to let you know that your grandmother went into the hospital, grandpa found her at 4am this morning of the ground convulsing. I guess she overdosed on Ambient or something. She hasn't woken up yet."
I stood in shock, maybe even in fear, at the news that was presented before me. I could barely withstand hearing those words again, no... not again.
"Hey Denim, whats that on your arm? Are you bleeding?"
"Oh, that" I shivered in pain, "Its nothing. Just a little cut I guess."
"We'll let me see it, I want to make sure its not infected before you put a bandaid on it."
"Oh, no, thats OK Dad, thanks anyway."
"No, please, I just want to make sure your cut wont get infected."
He took a quick jab for my arm, he missed the sleeve but rubbed hard against my wounds.
"Ouch!" I couldnt help but yell.
"Whats that? Denim! Let me see your arm right now!."
I could feel my eyes holding back a single tear as I slowly raised my sleeve to reveal the numerous cuts and slashed across my fore arm.
"Denim... explain yourself."
"I... I... I..." I didn't know what to say.
"Well... I..." Words just couldn't escape my mouth.
Finally I broke down into a waterfall of salty tears, collapsing into my fathers arms.
"I..." Sniffles, "I just couldnt stop. One, and then another, and then another... it made me feel... alive."
I can't even begin to fathom the intensity of what I said.
"Well... I..." My father was hesitant, but proceeded to speak anyway, "Is this because of grandma?"
"Well... some of it. SOme of it is because of school, and work, and... just life."
"I've been doing it for a few years now; every time I just can't figure something out; or I feel like complete shit. I do it, and I feel better... so much better."
A saw then something I never thought I would ever see in my entire life. It was like the entire spectrum of light, all condensed to the width of my father's wide eyes.
And then, without a whisper or a word, my father stood up, took a step back, looked me straight in the eye and said, "Your mother will be wondering where I am, so I better get back to the hospital to see your grandmother. If your up for it... you can come later if you like."
I just stood there, mentally deconstructed and naked in front of my father; until finally I had to speak.
"OK... I guess I'll see you later." I squeezed out my tight, exausted throat as I begged myself not to burst into tears again.
"Alright, Well... Bye."
My father turned around, walked out the door, and shut it carelessly behind him.
"Well... there's only one thing left for me here." I whispered to myself.
And so I walked back up the stairs, an evil grin upon my face, and made my way to the door that I had just recently closed; as if just to gaze upon the luminous letters painted across the door:
"And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted - nevermore!"
And so I opened the gateway, and looking deep into the darkness, I saw a single shimmering light... my eyes fixated upon it... I walked to it, entranced by its singular beauty.
And now, laying across this god forsaken floor, I find myself broken... frayed, alone. But not for long; for soon I will be with everything I could ever want to be.
And so I enter into the abyss... the lifeless progression of nothingness that no one could ever possibly imagine.
And into the shadow my soul shall lay,
Silently followed by Deaths cruel way-
his way I follow, for a better tomorrow,
to put a final end, to this bitter, bitter day.
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Posted by RomeosMadWorld on 2008-08-26 21:19:58 | Rating: | Views: 200
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| Blog Comments
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Poor Denim. I just want to hold him tight and tell him that everything is going to be ok. I love that you were able to make me feel for this character. Gosh, I think I'm going to be dreaming about the poor kid tonight. I can't even fathom how he must have felt by his dad's reaction. I really do just want to give him a huge hug and let him cry on my shoulder...
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Posted by smileforthecamera
on 2008-08-26 22:56:23
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I have known people who cutt themselves, I have asked them to try to explain it. This is the closest I have come to understanding it. They said it is release, but I still think it is a sickness... I am ingnorant in that aspect as I have always believed that you can overcome anything with the power of you own mind and determination. I just wonder if ever that will fail me and I will finally know what is means to be bent, broken or barren....
Good one Romeo, as always...
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Posted by Evetspordlaw
on 2008-08-27 05:07:34
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Sad story, I can't understand the compulsions that make people want to hurt themselves. But then again, there are lots of ways that people do, not always so evident.
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Posted by circe
on 2008-08-27 12:18:19
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Wow!!! I'm finding it a bit difficult to critique this piece because of it's emotional punch. The mark of a great writer is creating characters the reader can emotionally attach to. If I don't care about the characters in a movie or book I'm not all that interested in how the story (or movie) progresses or concludes. I loved the vulnerability of Denim. My heart ached for him. While I'm upset in the way his father totally dropped the ball and failed him. I'm reminded of all the times I don't have the right words for another who takes me into their confidence. Great Job!!! Peace.
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Posted by ColoradoDreamin
on 2008-08-27 14:48:38
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I agree with Colorado here, very hard to critique. You wrote on a subject I have wondered about and the depth of the character brings an insight to his world that's not easily understood. Other than a few minor spelling errors, this is an emotional and amazing story, well done.
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Posted by spiritualcoma
on 2008-08-27 16:30:41
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Powerful work Romeo! Having two teenage lads I naturally felt this touch close to home, we all have to live with the possibility that our teenagers may feel so overwhelmed with stress that they feel the need to cut.
You kept it very fresh and real, I definitely wanted to take Denim home and help him see what a beautiful soul he is.
The father figure reacted as many adults do when faced with a situation they know very little about or are unable to come to terms with, they shut off and walk away.
It may only be a temporary reaction, but for Denim it was enough to push him over the edge. A strong warning indeed to any of us who think words don't matter.
As coma said, a few spelling errors, but otherwise a really fantastic piece!
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Posted by tantrictouch
on 2008-08-27 19:23:41
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Oh Romeo, this was great. Sad and powerful, and such a warning to all people, not just parents. You express and describe it so vividly, scary thoughts. Scary realities.
Well done. Made me sad. I guess that shows you write so well.
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Posted by EasyToSay
on 2008-08-28 18:20:44
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That was really good. I have a friend who cuts...not really sure why...I think it is because it makes him "feel" alive. How sad the way the father reacted, how tragic an ending. Great job.
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Posted by slowtolearn
on 2008-08-29 10:00:52
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That was beautiful. It explains so much; how people feel, how they handle their feelings, and how it affects the people around them.
I have not had the opportunity to know someone who has cut themselves, but I can understand why some people do it. Thank you for sharing this narative with me; I actually found myself feeling for the character, even crying a little bit when he broke down. That's an accomplishment in itself! I applaud you.
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Posted by AnneSawyer
on 2008-08-29 19:41:27
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Oh God. This one made me feel so sad.I actually wished the father hadn't reacted in that way as I read the story.
Great job!
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Posted by HardThinker
on 2008-08-30 08:18:39
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I can relate. I tried to tell my 'rents...didnt go to well. Heartbreak? is that it? i dont know but it hurt surprisingly close to my heart. You never now what pain is until the poeple that your supposed to trust with your life turn your back on you...
anyways...really good story.
-Nova
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Posted by xmidnightxwingsx
on 2008-09-02 18:32:03
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What can I say that can do this story justice? I found it tough to read, not from the wanting of talent, but from the emotional hold it had as I moved through the story. The story holds your attention and quickly attaches you to the character of, Denim.
Excellent.
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Posted by DaizeeBlue
on 2008-09-03 08:46:29
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Wow I decided today that I would comment on each and every scribble post... this is the first I have read other than my own... and it was powerful man. i could feel the dissapointment of the father just walking away, I could feel the decision he made... as dark as this was, it was written perfectly.
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Posted by DouglasMB
on 2008-09-06 09:37:53
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Very Moving and so Powerful! I can feel the intense emotions of the main character as though he lives, breathes and walks amongst us..Dude, you have one of the best talents i have seen so far!..You are so good!..
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Posted by dea0914
on 2008-09-08 09:32:57
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