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This is a thought Ihave often. For the past several hours my right eye had been irritated, similar to pink eye but it's a warning to me that there is severe pain coming. Not sure if it's a cluster headache, occipital neuralgia/nerver pain or what, but it's on it's way. Unfortunately having fibromyalgia, to my body, means slowly showing symptoms of a problem and when it fully discloses itself then and only then can we figure out if and how to treat. Another problem of having FM is that the body is very senseitive to chemicals, my allergies are to meds, pain meds, anti-biotics, anti-depressants, steriods, etc. All the things I need to survive with my illness and injuries.
Sometimes I wonder if this is some cruel joke and one day I'll wake up pain free and not exhausted. But this has also led me to look forward to death in the fact that there is no way I could be in this much pain with very few options of relief in the afterlife, it's suppose to be heavenly right? Anyway, since I'm using this (hiding) as a pain journal and also my therapist (since if I see one my therapist husband says our marriage is over), another story to come soon, I've been dealing with this neck injury and pain for over 3 years without meds to help and I'm truly loosing my mind. I know going to see a shrink will do little good, how much more can he tell me than the fact that I need to deal with my emotional issues from my childhood and marriage. Like I have the energy to do that, I can barely keep up with my self and home. The last thing I want to do right now is add another issues to deal with.
If I can't sleep tonight due to the pain I'll write about the past 3+ years, you wouldn't believe what I've been through, I still don't.
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Posted by Robochicken on 2008-01-03 23:39:32 | Rating: | Views: 53
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I look forward to hearing more. Writing about things can help. I know it has helped me.
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Posted by HungryHeart
on 2008-01-04 01:47:38
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