w00t... i feel so ill still bnut at least im back in school... and military  prep college.

military prep college... i mean- why??

we did an 8.3 MILE walk today- from cardiff all the way to castell coch. ou will not belive the pain in my litle toe's, i have like, a blister the size of a hockey puck on my one toe:(

i even had to wade through the river taff at one point, and i fell into a flippin' ditch in the path next to the river, ever seen the episode of the vicar of dibley where dawn french is jumping into all those puddles and she falls into the really, really big puddle... welll i think you can imagine what heppened. 

:P

ahh im so happy to be back on this stupid computer, its been broke for the past two weeks so not only have i been ill laying at home in pain... i havent even been able to check my e-mails:P.

ive also been writing songs and poems, so i thought id put a few here... and please, if you read these, dont copy them:)

Hear me when I call your name,

In a sweet surrender so full of pain,

When you sleep in time,

You’ll close your eyes,

And I will once again,

Take what is mine.

So hear me-

When I go away-

You will love me-

I can’t explain-

But I will get what I want again-

And you will be mine-

Forever!

Hear me when I scream at night,

When I sleep I find I thrash and fight,

My pillow and my torn up blanket,

Inside my mind,

You’re here again,

And I will take,

What once was mine!

So hear me-

When I go away-

You will be mine-

I can’t explain-

How I will get you-

But damn I will-

I’ll get you!

I’ll get you too.

You’ll thrash and fight,

In bed at night,

You’ll feel my pain,

From inside my mind,

You’ll want me back,

So please take heed,

I’ll get you boy,

Oh, you will see!

You think you know,

What you can say,

Or to do me,

Fuck that no way!

I get you damn it,

I’ll get you boy,

I’ll get you,

You will be my toy.

I’ll play with your heart,

Like you did to me,

I’ll find a way,

I’ll be obscene,

I’ll get away with murder,

All just because you did too!

So hear me-

When I go away-

You will love me-

I can’t explain-

But I will get what I want again-

And you will be mine-

Forever!

So hear me-

When I go away-

You will be mine-

I can’t explain-

How I will get you-

But damn I will-

I’ll get you boy!

I’ll get you too!

Here I am:

Here I am,

Please just tell me why you did it,

Here I am,

Please god tell me there’s no excuse for it,

Here I am,

Please just tell me why you did it,

Here I am,

Please god tell me there’s no excuse for it,

You killed yourself,

You stabbed your heart,

You slit your wrists,

You were torn apart,

You killed my heart,

Now tell me,

Why did you do it?

I won’t see you again,

Now tell me,

Why did you do it?

Here I am,

Please just tell me why you did it,

Here I am,

Please god tell me there’s no excuse for it,

You slit your wrists,

You crazy bitch,

You slashed yourself,

You killed yourself,

You plunged in the knife,

You stuck it right in,

You were ripped apart,

You did it in pain,

You kept up your head,

And again and again,

And again and again,

When you lay in your bed,

You did it,

Here I am,

Please just tell me why you did it,

Here I am,

Please god tell me there’s no excuse for it.

Here I am,

Please just tell us why you did it,

Here I am,

Just now tell me there’s no excuse for it.

If you were upset,

You should have just said,

But you lay in your bed,

And you died,

And you lay in your bed,

You were covered in sweat,

And in blood and in death,

And in pain,

Where you lay,

There forever,

And ever,

Today and tomorrow,

The next day,

And next day,

And next day,

And next day,

Forever.

Screaming screaming.

She’s on her train home,

A long long train home,

She finds she needs some help to focus,

On her station,

They’ve just pulled in,

And the sign it says,

SLIT YOUR WRISTS NOW!

And she’s crying,,

Cause she’s dying,

And she’s praying,

That the feeling leaves,

And when she gets home,

Mums left her a note,

On the paper it says

SLIT YOUR WRISTS NOW!!

So she runs up,

To her bedroom,

Takes the posters,

From her ceiling,

And she rips them,

In a cloud of pins and blue tack,

She lifts a picture,

Of her boyfriend,

It says on the back,

SLIT YOU WRITS NOW!!

And she’s crying,,

Cause she’s dying,

And she’s praying,

That the feeling leaves,

And the smoke billows,

From her nose,

And she feels no pain,

Stood in the rain,

The stranger calls,

SLIT YOUR WRISTS NOW

And she runs to,

to the kitchen,

And she fumbles,

With the key in the door,

And she runs out,

To her garden,

And she lays down,

And SCREAMS,

And SCREAMS,

And SCREAMS,

And SCREAMS,

And screams…

And she screams…

And she’s crying,,

Cause she’s dying,

And she’s praying,

That the feeling leaves,

And when she gets home,

Mums left her a note,

On the paper it says

SLIT YOUR WRISTS NOW!!

SLIT YOUR WRISTS NOW!

And she’s crying,,

Cause she’s dying,

And she’s praying,

That the feeling leaves,

And the smoke billows,

From her nose,

And she feels no pain,

Alone in the rain,

The stranger calls,

SLIT YOUR WRISTS NOW

On the paper it says

SLIT YOUR WRISTS NOW!!

On the paper it says

Call 999 now.

A life unknown in dreamland.

Mind your head,

When you’re in bed,

You never know…

You never know,

What might be lurking,

Beneath your bedposts,

You slip away,

Into a life unknown

In dreamland.

You dream of bones and bodies,

Death and destruction

Of pain but glory,

And you never know,

What time to go,

And you’re stuck in there,

With no friends or home,

And you pay back death,

For all the times he missed,

And when he gets,

Exactly what he wants,

He will get me too.

So when you sleep,

No time to breath,

You find you never knew,

That when you dream,

Your body goes,

Straight from your bed,

Into a life unknown,

In dreamland.

Mind your head,

When you’re in bed,

You never know…

You never know,

What might be lurking,

Beneath your bedposts,

You slip away,

Into a life unknown

You sink,

You float,

You think you fly,

And you don’t know why,

Or how to say,

Just go away,

These things are inside my head,

Inside a life unknown,

In dreamland.

So when you sleep,

No time to breath,

You find you never knew,

That when you dream,

Your body goes,

Straight from your bed,

Into a life unknown,

In dreamland.