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THE MASK I WEAR

A friend sent me this poem in a message yesterday. It very much resembled parts of a blog that I wrote not too long ago. I thought it would be interesting to post it since it pertains to so many of us.

THE MASK I WEAR

Don't be fooled by me,
don't be fooled by the face I wear
For I wear a mask. I wear a thousand masks-
Masks that I am afraid to take off
And none of them are me.

Pretending is an art that's second to nature with me
But don't be fooled,
For God's sake don't be fooled.
I give you the impression that I am secure
That all is sunny and unruffled with me
Within as well as without,
That confidence is my name
And coolness is my game,
That the water is calm
And I'm in command,
And that I need no one.
But don't believe me Please.

My surface may be smooth but my surface is my mask,
My ever-varying and ever-concealing mask.
Beneath lies no smugness, no complacence.
Beneath dwells the real me in confusion, in fear, in aloneness.
But I hide this
I don't want anyone to know it.
I panic at the thought of my weaknesses
And fear exposing them
that's why I frantically create my masks to hide behind.
They're nonchalant, sophisticated facades to help me to pretend
To shield me from the glance that knows
But such a glance is precisely my salvation, my only salvation.
…and I know it.

That is, if it's followed by acceptance and if its followed by love.
It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself
From my own self built prison walls

I dislike hiding honestly
I dislike the superficial game I am playing, the superficial phony game.
I'd really like to be genuine and me
But I need your help, your hand to hold
Even though my masks would tell you otherwise
That glance from you is the only thing that assures me
of what I cant assure myself, that I'm really worth something

But I don't tell you this, I don't dare.
I'm afraid to.
I'm afraid you'll think less of me, that you'll laugh
…and your laugh would kill me.
I'm afraid deep-down I'm nothing., that I'm just no good
…and you will see this and reject me.

So I play my game, my desperate, pretending game.
With a façade of assurance without, and a trembling child within.
So begins the parade of masks

The glittering but empty parade of masks, and my life becomes a front.
I idly chatter to you in suave tones of surface talk.
I tell you everything that's nothing and nothing of what's everything.
So when I am going through my routine, do not be fooled by what I'm saying.
Please listen carefully and try to hear what I am NOT saying, hear what I'd like to say,
…but what I can not say.

It will not be easy for you, long felt inadequacies make my defenses strong.
The nearer you approach me the blinder I may strike back.
Despite what books say of men, I am irrational; I fight against everything that I cry out for.
You wonder who I am, you shouldn't, for I am every man, and every woman who wears a mask.
Don't be fooled by me, at least not by the face I wear.

~author unknown

Sometimes I let my real self shine in the light

cause thats the way I roll!

What about your mask?