229- DIVORCING IS TWICE THEN EITHER HOLDING THEM WITH KINDNESS OR LETING THEM GO WITH KINDNESS AND GENEROSITY.  AND IT IS NOT PERMITTED FOR YOU TO TAKE ANY THING YOU HAVE GIVEN THEM, UNLESS YOU FEAR THAT THEY SHALL NOT BE ABLE TO KEEP TO THE LIMITS ORDAINED BY ALLAH. IF YOU FEAR THAT BOTH SHALL NOT BE ABLE TO KEEP TO THE LIMITS ORDAINED BY ALLAH, THERE IS NO BLAME UPON THEM IF SHE RANSOMS HERSELF.  THESE ARE ALLAH’S LIMITS; DO NOT TRANSGRESS THEM, FOR THOSE WHO TRANSGRESS ALLAH’S LIMITS ARE THE UNJUST.

230- THEN IF HE DIVORCED HER (THIRD TIME), SHE IS NOT PERMITTED FOR HIM UNTIL SHE MARRIES ANOTHER MAN, IF HE DIVORCES HER, THERE IS NO BLAME UPON THEM IF THEY RETURN TO EACH OTHER, IF THEY THINK THAT THEY CAN KEEP TO ALLAH’S LIMITS.  THESE ARE ALLAH’S LIMITS BEING CLARIFIED FOR PEOPLE OF KNOWLEDGE.

After the first and second divorce, the spouses may return to each other again, but not after the third.  Unless she marries another man who divorces her after a proper marriage, then they may return to each other. 

Before this Ayah, there were no limits on the number of times a man may divorce his wife.  Some men used to punish their wife by divorcing them, then before the end of their Edda, take them back, then divorce them and take them back.  He was able to do this endlessly, which was unfair for women. 

It was reported that a man from the Ansar was angry with his wife, and said to her: “By Allah, I shall neither keep you nor leave you” she said: “How is that?” He said: “I will divorce you and wait until near the end of your Edda, I will take you back, then I shall divorce you and when the end of your Edda approaches, I will take you back”.  She mentioned this to Allah’s messenger prayer and peace upon him, following which this Ayah was sent down.  (T: Talaq; 16)

Limiting the number of divorces prevents the abuse of the wife’s rights and Allah’s law.

After a divorce, the husband should either return his wife and keep her on equitable terms and treat her kindly or let her go and treat her kindly and generously still. 

A Muslim man divorcing his wife by his own wish, should not take back any thing he has given her such as dowry, presents or any thing else regardless of it’s value. 

If a woman wants to divorce her husband, she may give her dowry back in return for her divorce.  It is sinful for a man to cause his wife difficulties and hardship to force her to ask for divorce and return him his dowry.  Allah the Highest said: “IT IS NOT PERMITTED FOR YOU TO INHERIT THE WOMEN AGAINST THEIR WILL, NOR TO TREAT THEM HARSHLY IN ORDER TO TAKE BACK SOME OF WHAT YOU HAVE GIVEN THEM; UNLESS THEY COMMIT A CLEAR SIN.  IF YOU HATE THEM, MAY BE THAT YOU HATE SOMETHING WHILE ALL MAKES A GREAT DEAL OF GOODNESS IN IT” (S: 4 A: 19)

A woman may ask for divorce for many reasons; such as if her husband is miserly, harsh, abuses her, sexually unable, or even because she just does not like him.  The wife of a man called Thabet Ibn Qyes went to Allah’s messenger prayer and peace upon him saying: “Allah’s messenger, I do not have a complaint about Thabet’s  Faith or Character, however I can not stand him”  Allah’s messenger said: “Will you give him his garden back?”  She said: “Yes”  (B:Talaq;12 & Ma:Talaq;22 & D:Talaq;18 & N:Talaq;34 & A:4;3)

This does not mean that a woman may ask for divorce for no good reason, or in order to marry another man etc.  Allah’s messenger prayer and peace upon him said: “Any woman who asks her husband for divorce for no harm or upset she will be forbidden the smell of the Paradise” (A: 5; 277,283 & Da: Talaq; 6 & D: Talaq; 18)

Some say that the wife may give any thing to ransom herself to be divorced.  Others say that what she may give is the dowry and any valuable gifts also.  Allah’s messenger prayer and peace upon him did not ask this lady to give any thing more than the dowry back.  Marriage is a contract and there are financial aspects to this contract.  It is only fair that when a marriage is dissolved, only the woman may surrender her financial gains from the marriage only, no more.

Allah’s messenger prayer and peace upon him told Habiba, the lady who asked for divorce that her Edda is one menstrual cycle (T: Talaq; 10 & D)

In this case the man can not take his wife back without her agreement, and with a new marriage contract and dowry. 

This counts as One Divorce.

After the Third Divorce, they can not return to each other except under one condition.  The woman marries another man, and this marriage ends with divorce.  Then she may remarry her previous husband.  There are two conditions for this:

1-    The second marriage should be genuine, and not just for the purpose of the woman remarrying her previous husband.  Allah’s messenger prayer and peace upon him cursed the man who does that and the man for whom it is being done (T:Nekah;28 & N:Talaq;13 & D:Nekah;15 & A:1;448)

2-    The second marriage should be consummated.  Allah’s messenger prayer and peace upon him was asked about a woman who was divorced three times, and then she married another man who divorced her before the marriage was consummated, and she wanted to return to her first husband.  Allah’s messenger prayer and peace upon him said: “Not until he tastes your sweetness as the first one did”.  (B:Talaq;7 & D:Talaq;49 & N:Talaq;9 & Mal:Nekah;17,18)

Aysha reported that Allah’s messenger prayer and peace upon him said that: “The sweetness is the sexual intercourse”.  (A: 6; 62)

A marriage intending to just permit the remarriage of a man and woman who have been divorced three times is not a valid marriage.  Valid marriage should not have an end date.  It should be entered with the intention of it lasting.

B: Bukhari   M: Muslim    Mal: Malek   A: Ahmed   D: Abu Dawood     

 Da: Daremy       Ma: Ibn Magah            N: Nesae          T: Termezi