If I had to sum up my weekend in one word it would be DEBAUCHEROUS. I'm sitting here at my computer (who I named Linus) eating a single serving of Jello Vanilla Pudding and desperately trying to fight off the fatigue I acquired over the weekend.

Friday started off like any other free friday night. I tried out a new Vietnamese local restaurant called Saigon and fell in love with their pate sandwiches. I met up with Cory and and our group of male friends for the city's monthly artwalk. It's our favorite thing to do. Free wine, sushi and all the local artists come out in droves.

It was nice but nothing crazy. If anything we ran into old friends and got some mardi gras beads. Cory and I ended up leaving early. I was itching to listen to some live music but I wasn't in the mood to in a really packed bar where it would take 20 minutes to get a cold beer. So we ended up at Smoking Aces, a raunchy little bar in the town over from where we were at.

The crowd was a bit ghetto with a lot of older people. But the band sounded good (playing classic rock) and we even got seats at the bar. Plus the drinks were way cheap so that was a major bonus.

Next to where we were sitting was an older man (mid 50's) wearing a faded hawaiian shirt who kept eyeing both me and Cory. The man was giving us a total creep vibe. And I know you shouldn't judge people before you get to know them but my intutition was screaming "EWW".

So we got up and sat front row joe in front of the bass player. He was HOTT! Normally I don't like cowboys but this man was beautiful. He was wearing a short trucker shirt with bulging tatooed arms and a black cowboy hat. Next to us was a pair of couples playing pool and getting stupid drunk. One of the stupidly drunk girls went up to Mr. Bass Player and took his cowboy off which he immediatly replaced with backwards red baseball cap (a bit reminicient of Fred Durst but watching him sway and play his guitar excused him off that).

About 15 minutes later one of the guys, who is stupidly drunk girl's boyfriend, snuck up from behind me and slipped me a piece of paper.

ME: Um, hi is this for me?
SDGB: Yeah SHHH, don't tell anyone.
ME: Why not? Are you here with someone?
SDGB: Yes, I'm on a date.
ME: Is she your girlfriend?
SDGB: SHH, Don't tell anyone. Call me tomorrow at 7.
ME: In the morning?
SDGB: Yeah
ME: You'll be lucky if I'm even getting home at that hour.

Can you believe the nerve of that guy giving me his number while his stupidly drunk girlfriend was in the bathroom?!

So they leave and another pair of couples take their table. A couple of twins and what looks to be their dates. After a couple drinks Cory and I run into one of the twins in the bathroom. She tells us that we have nice boobs and she is not happy with hers cause they are way too small. I totally disagreed. I would LOVE to have small boobs. You would't have to worry about wearing bras. Then she says "LOOK" she lifts up her blouse to show us her small cute boobs. There were really cute. Cute enough to earn one of my mardi gras beads which is what cory and I did.

So we go back outside and listen to the music, talk with Mr. Bass player who buys us drinks, get drinks sent to us by anonymous people, just having a blast . Then the sister of the twin comes up to us and says she wants beads too!! So we go to the bathroom and she ALSO shows us her boobs.  THEN as they leave, the first twin kisses both me and Cory.

Cory and I come out of the bathroom completely flabergasted.  We then immediately text and call everyone of our guy friends and brag viciously.  We also tell Mr. Bass Player who just started laughing.

Mr. Bass Player ended up being a really stand up kinda guy. He's much older than me (he's actually three years younger than my mom, which doesn't say much being that my mother is in her early 40's), and trying to really jump start his music career. He bought us drinks and a couple of roses, which he didn't have to do.  I don't think I've ever had a guy buy me roses on the spur of the moment. I wish I could set him up with one of my friends but I don't think I know anyone who would be compatible.

So having the twins flash me was the highlight of my friday night.  Saturday............

Well on Saturday Mr. Bass Player had invited us to see him play at Simon Sez, another small bar.  It was really low key and I even ran into a friend from college who was there with his wife.  He gave Cory and me rides on his Harley.  He BEGGED to see my nipple piercings and after his wife gave the go ahead I showed him my piercings.  He LOVED them.  Everyone has this preconcieved notion that nipple piercing all look hardcore and goth. But mine just look like two little silver beads on each side of my nipples.  They look cute.

Afterwards we went to an after party at a friends house.  There was about 30 people there and lots of trays full of weed ( I don't do that stuff). We met this one girl who was crazy weird and fun.  She was automatically attached to Cory and me.

At around 4 in the morning everyone started to leave.  Cory and a friend had disappeared into one of bedrooms and I was falling asleep next to weird girl on the sofa.  On the other side of weird girl was this creepy guy. Now creepy guy earlier had been hitting on Cory and me hardcore. He was trying to kiss our necks and pull down our shirts.  We were trying everything to get away without being rude (he was heavily under the influence and a really good friend of our host).  So I'm falling asleep on the sofa and I start to hear kissing noises from weird girl and creepy guy.  I shrug it off and fall asleep.

I wake up about an hour later only to find that creepy guy is performing oral on weird girl RIGHT NEXT TO ME! She was just chilling bottomless on the sofa with her arms behind her head.  She looked over at me and just smiled and shrugged.  OMG!! They didn't stop when I saw them. I went to the bathroom and stayed in there for as long as I could without it looking weird.  I preoccupied my time in there.  I drew on the mirror with soap, reorganized the medicine cabinet, turned the toliet paper around so that it was over not under, anything to buy them time to stop. I came out only to find that they were not done. I went to the bedroom where Cory was at, knocked on the door and said we HAD TO GO.

Cory and my friend came out and saw weird girl and creepy guy.....they still didn't stop!!

SERIOUSLY you can't make this stuff up! Who are these people who happened to cross my life path.  What purpose do they serve other than to just enterain me. It was a crazy weekend.  I wish I could go into more detail but my body is  aching and begging for rest.

Please be safe out there people.

QuixoticGirl