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| Glass Half Empty Theses Days
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What a weird couple of weeks. It all started with the ill-fated Valentines day. Like I had previously predicted...it was horrible. JV decided on that day that he needed to reconcile with his girlfriend and my friend Danny totally stood me up for our V-day lunch. Sucky....I was expecting it, but I was still hanging on to a bit of hope that maybe this year it would change. No such luck.
Then my son turned 10. Such a milestone. It doesn't even feel like 10 years have gone by. I am no longer the teenage mother but a 26 year old mother of a gifted son, who wears bigger shoes than I do, and loves to listed to Korn and the soundtrack to Nightmare Before Christmas. It was a bittersweet day for me knowing that I have less than two years of him wanting to spend time with me. Then he'll be in junior high going to dances and hanging out with his friends at the movies and bowling alley. I'M SO OLD. But he had a great day. He received loads of presents and 155 dollars from relatives (which he immediately put in his savings account for a laptop) and we went to Joe's Crab Shack, his favorite restaurant, for dinner.
Then my friend Cindy, who works at an employment agency, told me about a job at one of the local news stations was hiring a moring t.v. show producer. She encouraged me to submit my resume and reel, which I did, and see what they would say. Well naturally I got excited. The pay was great, the hours were from midnight to nine in the morning, which is great cause I would be able to pick my son up from school everyday.
But then I didn't hear anything and I started to get depressed like I always do when I don't get a job that I really want. Cindy said that they loved my resume and reel but felt I didn't have enough experience as a producer. They want to keep my resume for a future position that might open up. Which means, don't hold your breath dearie. I'm just so frustrated working at the mall. I've never had any trouble getting a decent job up until I graduated from college which is so ironic. So ironic it should be Alanis Morisette's next song.
Well I started notice that my clothes were starting to fit me a lot more snuggly than usual. So I dusted off my scale from underneath my bed. I held my breath, dropped the robe, closed my eyes, and stepped on the scaled. I've gained 17 pounds in two years. I'm disgusted with myself. I now weigh 137. I know that doesn't seem like a lot of weight but on my 5'3" body frame it's a lot. About two years ago I had taken a class for my kinesology credit in flamenco dancing and I lost 20 pounds in six weeks. I worked really had to keep it off and I was doing great, until recently.
So I started running four miles everyday (I've since gained two pounds) and doing about 100 situps every night. I'm even thinking going vegetarian for awhile to see if maybe I can get my energy back up. I'm not going to weigh myself everyday but every week. And hopefully I will remember to post it here on my blog. In the meantime I have a planned grocery trip for tomorrow and a receipe I found for green beans with cranberries which looks/sounds delicious.
I've also started reading a new book called The Watermelon King written by Daniel Wallace. He was the same guy who wrote Big Fish (which was turned into a movie directed by Tim Burton). It's just a little something cute to distract me from noticing that my life totally sucks right now.
I hate being depressed. More from me later.
QuixoticGirl
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Posted by QuixoticGirl on 2008-03-04 00:05:42 | Rating: | Views: 49
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You will turn your life around, and make it a success, have more faith in you and your capabilities, dont let the set backs get you down and I have to tell you, my resume sat on a file in a personnell office, guess what? Next round of interviews I got offered a job, it does happen, stay positive and look to a great and underful future.
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Posted by landdownunder
on 2008-03-04 12:44:47
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