Thoughts.com Blogs - Relationship Counselor?

View Blog

Relationship Counselor?

If you know me well, you know that random and I go hand in hand.

It's always nice to talk to someone new, whether it be someone you just met or just someone you haven't talked to in ahwile. But it gets weird when you signs of similarity in conversation. Last week as I was studying for an online exam at Panera Bread, a girl in her mid-20s judging by look walked in and randomly sat at my table by the window. She asks me "May I sit here?" so I say "yea go ahead help yourself" since the place was somewhat full. We go on to share an outlet and table so she could use her laptop and then 5 minutes into it the wireless suddenly goes out.

Being that we both couldn't finish what we had planned to do. We ended up chatting about relationships over coffee. Why is it that I always end up talking about boyfriend/girlfriend relationships with people male or female? Is there something about me that screams "Ahh I have to talk to the well renowned relationship therapist Dr. Chevitanon?" It's really weird, but in these different conversations you learn a lot about people and how one thinks. So if you ask me, I really don't mind it.

So it turns out, this girl whose name has been long gone out of my head has issues finding the right guy. She recently had joined match.com and has a few dates lined up for the upcoming weekend. She said that she is really into this guy who she has dated four times already but isn’t sure if he is the right one. So I asked her "If I asked you to identify the two most important qualities that you absolutely want to see in a guy what would it be?" She said "well, it would probably have to be religion, and stability" I then proceeded to tell her to elaborate the "stability" part. Then she said "family values, education, goals and dreams." Then I said "well if this guy has these qualities then you should continue to see him, and let out a little bit about yourself each time, if he can withstand the test of time then you will know if he's the right one or not. She then asks "What if he's not all the qualities that i just mentioned?" In my mind I was saying "um, how the hell am I supposed to know? I'm not you! Find another freakin' guy, geez." but I just told her "if you don't want to waste time, then let him know how you feel, and what you are looking for. It's much more efficient if you two are honest. As for you... There are plenty of fish in the sea. Don't go looking for your man, let him come to you. The most important thing that you have to remember is to be happy and you will attract the man that you've always wanted, maybe even your soul mate" Before we knew it, it was 9:00pm and Panera was closing. Seeing the burning desire to want to talk more, we pack up are laptops and head over to her car in the parking lot. As we head closer and closer to her vehicle. She mentions to me that she had called the guy who she had dated four times already and left an email, but he had not been back in touch with her yet, and it has been two days since last they talked.

So I ask her "Do you prefer the guy to call you or the girl to call the guy?" She says "Girls usually like it when guys call them, girls feel awkward when they call boys" So then I tell her "That really shouldn't be an issue if you are trying to be in an adult relationship." Boys don't feel obligated to call girls, they'd rather have the girl call them in most instances......but that is so high school." Like I said it shouldn't matter who calls who first or second or w/e. What's important is the actual thought of the contact. So to get myself out of the situation and conclude, I then go on to say that "the guy will get back in touch with you soon." She goes "now, how old are you?" and I say "20" then she says "Thanks for the talk, looks like i'll have to check my email to see if he has wrote back" So as I say my byes and walk away, she gets a phone call and says "it's him! thanks!" I shrug and give her the thumbs up. What a random and weird night! Just had to get it out of me. It is good to know that I have psychic powers.