Thoughts.com Blogs - Wrath of Nancy Part One: Without Hope

View Blog

Wrath of Nancy Part One: Without Hope

A long time ago in a country far, far away....

POPPING CHINA'S
CHERRY

I said goodbye to Chris not ten minutes ago, he is off again to see his girlfriend who lives in another city leaving me in the clutches of a school full of apathetic teachers, angry administrators and out of control children. I have four days to go until he gets back and I have to cover his classes until his return. This normally wouldn't bother me, I have no trouble being alone and was actually looking forward for some peace for once. The trouble I will have takes it's form in the lead disciplinarian in our school and the head of the foreign affairs office, Nancy. Nancy is a terrifying woman and is not to be crossed with out expecting some serious repercussions, it is my belief that she could rip a mans soul from his body with her mind just for some entertainment. I try to stay away from her at all times thereby avoiding the confrontation she is always looking for. Chris takes a different route with dealing her by being so angry when she is around that she just leaves before the inevitable fistfight erupts.

Over the next four days because I will be covering many of Chris's classes and because of this I will need more help in my own classes. Nancy as the foreign affairs officer volunteered to take a few of my classes and team teach with me in some of the others to keep the pressure off. As long as she stays out of my way and doesn't criticize my teaching style there won't be any problems. So it should be an interesting couple of days anyway, boredom won't be a problem.

I normally have three classes a day but with him gone I would now have double that and it will be grade four that I have to team teach with Nancy that I have to watch out for. Grade four is my first class today too so in five minutes I will have to deal with the callous wench. The first bell rings, I have a few moments to walk down the hall and get to class so there is no rush but I walk in to find Nancy already there anyway with a scowl on her face. She informs me in the most derogatory form she can muster that I am late and should be here with the first bell. I ignore it, like I always do with whatever she says, if they wanted me here at the first bell then they would have told me or put it in my contract. Before the second bell can ring though she pulls me to the side of the class for a little chat.

"Why have you not taught the students any songs?" The threat in her voice is unmistakeable.

"Because it is more important that they learn travelling terms and how to have a conversation then to learn the words to a song that they won't ever use again." I tried to make my reply as pleasant as possible, I am trying to keep the peace here, I don't need a bloodbath on my hands.

My aloof reply must have pissed her off though because she came right back at me swinging. "We have to teach the kids songs so they have something to show the parents next week when they show up so we will teach them songs today starting with 'this old man'." I groan inwardly, this is a bad idea, not only are teaching songs useless because the three smart students will learn the song and the rest will just follow along making noises close to what the words are but 'this old man' is a terrible song to teach. Songs like this are filled with nonsensical words like 'knick-knack' and 'paddywhack' and non-functional english like "this old man came rolling home". This is the exact reason why I don't teach songs to the students and I hate the administration for forcing me to do this. I knew it would be useless to put up a fight so I sat back and let her teach the class for me, at the very least I can get some relaxation out of this.

Halfway through the lesson she turns to me and asks what knick knack paddywhack means as she is unfamiliar with the term. Of course she is, I sigh, get up off the only adult chair in the room and walk over so I can speak quietly with her. I inform her that the words mean nothing and the song is pretty much nonsense, I give her a second to let her work it out from my tone that I was not endorsing her choice in teaching style. She is hate filled though and has to be right all the time so she bypassed my comments continuing on with the lesson, determined to teach them something they won't need. Wow I can't wait for tomorrow, apparantly we will be doing this all week.

I move on to my next class, the knowledge that it will be a nancyless class brings a smile to my face. It is one of Chris's so it will be the smaller grades which require less thinking and more repitition and patience to deal with. I am ok with this, it is sometimes refreshing to get out of the higher grades that need so much new and exciting material to keep them interested. Walking into the classroom I immediately notice Nancy and another teacher are there as well sitting at the back of the class most likely waiting for me. This garbage is starting to get old so I go back there and ask why she is again sitting in. She informs me that because I have not been teaching them very many songs that they will watch me for a couple of classes to make sure I am teaching correctly. Well that is just perfect, now I am going to be scrutinized by the most miserable woman in the faculty, perhaps the world and the results of her supervision will no doubt make its way to my boss. The frustration starts to set in again, Chris told me what he was teaching in this class and asked me to review for him and for all intents and purposes there will be no singing in here as he did not specifically ask me to cover it. Not only that but I don't know what songs they know and don't know so if forced into a position where they want me to teach them one I will have to guess and hope I get through it ok.

It is not five minutes into the lesson where I am reviewing place names like hotel and bank(read important) when Nancy pulls me out of the class letting the other teacher take over. "I don't like what you are teaching them. How can we demostrate to the parents that the students know english when all you show them is a few words?" I am mildly annoyed at her for pulling me out of class for this trivial stupidity but decide to play her game and ask her what she thinks I should be teaching them because I am Canadian and have no idea what the important things to know in english are. She being Chinese didn't get the sarcasm and so she forged on probably hoping for that kind of response from me. "Well you will start by teaching them possesion to go along what it says in the textbook." This was precisely the thing I was hoping to avoid, but bow my head and start back to the office to get my notes on posession lessons. Stuff like "which pencil is yours" thrill neither mor or the students but that is what they want me to teach so I will do it. At least as long as it takes for it to become painfully aware that these lessons suck, they aren't learning anything and sentences asking where your hat is do not really take you far in the real world.

By the time I get back and am ready to begin anew the class is practically over and the Chinese teacher is just wrapping up the lesson. I enter anyway asking the teacher how the class went. She doesn't understand what I said because she doesn't speak english. I laugh to myself about the folly of having someone who does not speak the language teach it and file it away to bring up with Nancy later. Now that the class is over I have some free time to go ask her what the problem is and work everything out and so I make my way to the foreign affairs office where she will most likely be. She is in there not really working just staring at the computer, most likely coming up with new ways to torment me. She notices me and gets up, so it begins. I ask her why I can't teach them place names and modes of transportation. She says it is not in the curriculum and to teach what she says to teach. I am a little shocked at this, her note of condescension in her awful, high pitched voice peirces my head setting off the rage detectors in my brain.

It takes a supreme amount of will power to control yourself in frustrating work related circumstances. This harpy witch furthered my condition by telling me what to do when she is not my boss and knows next to nothing about teaching english. Many other people have been in a situation like this or more then one and they can atest to how enraging it is to follow orders that you know are wrong. On top of that it seemed like she was having a bad day so her generally foul mood was worsened and it seemed she was taking it out on me. Before I could even sputter a reply through the images of rage and murder she continued on her little tirade. She orders me out of her office so she can keep working because she is incredibly busy right now and has no time for my prattle. At this point she turned and walked away from my shuddering frame not seeing the portents of a coming disaster. This coming from the woman I caught not less then five minutes ago staring off into space did little to help my worsening state. It was lucky for me I did not act on my twisted thoughts because on the heels of my wondering where I could safely stash a body the principal comes in to the office behind me and starts talking to Nancy in Chinese.

Unable to take out my frustration there in the office I walked slowly out of the office white faced and turned the corner to head back to my dorm room across the way. I had another class in an hour and I doubt I was going to it. To make sure it was covered I phoned my assistant to take my class with the fake excuse that I was ill. At this point it would be best if I were to be alone to nurse quiet thoughts of impotent anger.

"She will pay for this."

By: Alex Murray