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How does one end up in China? Well among all of the reasons out there that anyone could choose to visit this country, mine was to teach English as a second language to students in a private school. If you read any of the other posts you will know that I have experienced mixed results, sometimes you just love the job, other times you want to go to class and start tossing stuff out the window and threatening them to make them listen to you. Coming to China is not an easy decision though and any time you make a decision that timeless pros vs. cons happens in you head, usually in the cartoon form of a little devil and a little angel standing on each respective shoulder. Taking this job was no different, when I got the contract and read it over the argument started. My two guys hate each other and start throwing punches almost without being provoked so it is much more then a couple of vagrants fighting over a half eaten sandwich it is more like a bitter and tense argument during a breakup.
Usually I follow the little white guy as my morals are pretty strong in these situations and do what the devil says infrequently during moments of weakness. I was sitting in my bedroom next to my desk the day I decided to leave debating with myself over what I should do. Weighing every pro and con I could think of and listening to these two squabble. The angel was for staying at home and working to pay for my education, the devil was going the obvious fun route and pushing for a year in China.
"I don't think you should go, there is too much to risk, you could catch a weird Chinese disease and die." As with all my decisions the little angel opens and once again it is with a week argument. I will need more convincing then that.
"Are you listening to his drivel? Come on, a year paid vacation where do you lose?" Comes the excellent rebuttal from the red guy.
"You can't afford the plane ticket, and you can't get that much in one month." A definite problem that has to be solved. Point angel.
"Bah, just use your credit card you will be fine. Chris says that you don't even have to pay rent out there. Come on." Advantage, guy with pitchfork.
"And how will you pay that down? Get real you have a decent job here and can start school." The angel is starting to win this argument and I start to gather the papers to throw them out.
"No don't! Think of the beautiful Chinese women you will miss out on. The drinking the PARTYING!" I pause before tossing the contract in the garbage. Getting paid to party every week is enticing, I take a step back from the garbage now unsure of my decision.
"You are starting school, you have classes and not to mention the girl you would be leaving." Damn, stupid angel, you and your logic are going to ruin me. I throw out the contract and walk away.
"You are making a big mistake. This is the opportunity of a life time, how many people can say they have been to China before they are 21. For a year. To be a teacher. The respect that goes with that is ridiculous. Don't make me walk over there and kick that white little pansies ass." Actually that might be fun I could get some entertainment out of watching them fight.
"I am still going with the little white dude, he makes more sense." I am convinced that staying is the better course of action.
"Well thats it then." The devil rolls up his sleeves and races across my shoulders and tackles the angel. They roll off my left my left shoulder and fall onto the ground bouncing a few inches away from each other. I sit down and watch the events unfold.
The devil landed badly and remained on the ground, the angel was already crawling slowly away dazed from the impact. Devil was slow to rise but once up he starts after the crawling white figure. Before reaching the small, good Alex he rolls over in preparation for the pending attack. The red's attack was already in motion; he leaps into the air to tackle him again, and is repelled but the waiting angel. The angel who was prepared for this caught the devil's jump on his hands and feet and flung him backwards over the angels body. The strike against the ground must have winded him as he remained lying there for a few seconds his pitchfork having slid away from his grasp a few inches away.
The angel flips over on to all fours and rises to his feet once again and approaches the devil. "You can't win this way," he says while taking his halo in hand. "In the end everyone always makes the right decision." He takes the halo and circles behind the devil lying on the floor. “We will end this now," Before the devil can move away from the threat the halo is around his throat choking him. He struggles, reaching in vain behind him to stop the angel from what he is about to do. His legs kick out feebly against what he knows is the inevitable. I don't intervene in their little exchange, letting it play out to see if I am going to China or not.
His movements slow and he stops reaching for the angel's arms. All his legs are doing now are reaching out stretching as far as they can go to the discarded pitchfork which I notice is just out of reach. The devil arches his back dislodging the grip around his neck for a second or so and manages to toe the handle of his weapon. Another jerk and he has it underneath his foot and drags it up so it is within reach of his arms. The angel is so focused on the task at hand he does not notice this and for his he receives a quick jab to the hand from the devil's poker. Only one of the tines actually dug into the skin on his hand but it was enough for him to release his hold on the halo.
The angel jumps back with a yelp holding his wounded hand, the devil with his weapon back in play wastes no time and lunges trying to keep the advantage. A quick stumble keeps the angel from being skewered but it is not over yet. Going with the direction of his jab, the devil keeps his momentum going and turns the jab into a swing catching the angel off guard again and knocking him to the floor.
I am on my feet as the fight ends fetching the contract from the garbage to begin filling it out. I hear a grunt and a yelp from the floor that tells me the flight is finished. With a flash of red smoke the devil reappears on my left shoulder, the space that is customarily filled by the little guy in white who will no longer be joining us. I notice that he is no longer carrying the fork but the halo is wrapped around his upper arm like a trophy from his recent victory. He is a little beaten up from the fight and still breathing hard, he takes a seat on my shoulder as the only counselor I have now.
The devil looks at me a glint in his eyes laughing a little through the evil little smile right before he disappears in a cloud of black smoke, "Welcome to China."
By: Alex Murray
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