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How come everything seems up and down? How come I am my own worst enemy? Why can't I be more social? Why do I have an inner hate inside me? Why do I have the urge to yell at others? Why do people disrespect me all my late childhood yrs to my teen years? Why do I want someone but then I don't want anyone? Why am I so uncomfortable with people? Why do I constantly think about suicide? I actually think that I will kill myself. No One would care anyways. Why are people in this world so cold? Why can't I be cold? Why am I so depressed? I can't explain anything. Why do I feel like I am not a good enough of a person to have someone? Well when you are constantly told that you are worthless, you will start to believe and feel it. I was told that by peers in middle and high school. I just long to be that normal socialable person I always long to be. I just hate life. I don't even know why I manage to live this in this world. I hate being like this. Why can't I just....disappear???? |
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Posted by Plakola on 2008-05-11 22:02:37 | Rating: | Views: 181
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life if full of questions. so many of them i share with you. if you truly find a way to disappear and reappear let me know cuz that would be awesome.
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Posted by evecantrell
on 2008-05-12 00:49:57
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You have to learn to direct that childhood torture into some thing your passionate about. Maybe being a big sister?
You will find that special person one day, I just know it. But you have to get out and show that caring nature of yours to the world. Don't hide behind the pain. You've been through so much and made it to this point for a reason. You like me will protect your children with your life because of what you have been through. But you have to put yourself out there for the man of those children to find you or you him. I too like you feel different every day. It's a struggle to function in a way that allows me to parent. Kids need some consistancy in life but you have so much heart to give them.
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Posted by anotherdaze
on 2008-05-12 08:52:41
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I know how you feel. I felt that way so many times before. Im not feeling that way now. But when I did it sucked so much. I hope you feel better soon. I will always be your friend. (^_^) Your such a great person.
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Posted by Jasmine16
on 2008-05-12 11:17:05
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I've been in a position where I felt like the world was closing in on me and the only way out was suicide. I'm glad that I didn't go through with it. I don't know you but I hope you don't either. If you let the losers that talk negatively about you lead you into suicide, that means they have WON. But if you somehow manage to turn your whole way of thinking around and things start working out for you, you are the one who is victorious, not them.
Sometimes people might see something in you you might not even know about, and they might be jealous. Talking bad to you is their way of trying to bring you down. You don't need anyone's approval but God's and your own. Please don't waste your time trying to conform to other people's standards or even trying to be perfect. Just be you and do whatever it takes to make yourself happy. Me, I had to leave the area I was in and basically start over. It was a long, frustrating process and I still have a lot of downs, but I know after depression and negativity it takes time to recover.
Allow yourself the time to recover. Don't commit suicide.
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Posted by sasmith
on 2008-05-13 01:48:36
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When people don't respond by loving you, it's their problem, not yours. Some people don't know how to love or how to show love. Just focus on living in the moment, no matter who is watching. Really try to enjoy the activity of the moment. Enjoy school or work, try to have fun - good clean fun just making the most out of life.
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Posted by eternal
on 2008-05-14 12:56:43
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