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| I need help... can anyone hear me?!
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I've come here for advise. For help. To learn what I'm doing wrong.
Recently, I broke up with my boyfriend of two years. I really thought that he would be the one I share the rest of my life with. I got a loan to get our first apartment. He didn't have a job, and I provided for us. I found him his first job here in town. I introduced him to all of my friends. I basically let him into everything that had to do with my life.
In the time I was with him, I started changing. Getting angry that people would take his attention from me. Nervous he was always cheating on me. I lost my life because I gave it to him. And instead of trying to stay involved with it, I just let him have it.
Now that he has cheated on me, kicked me out of our apartment, and kept two of our dogs, I feel like I'm nothing. I lost the family I had so lovingly cared for and created. I lost my person to kiss every morning. I lost the best friend I had to talk to and hang out with every day. And I'm afraid, I've lost my will to live...
I get up every morning now and have to lay in bed to wrap my head around the fact this has really happened to me. I'm in a smaller apartment, no fenced in back yard for the dog I got to keep. No huge kitchen like I'm used to. No one to cook for. I find myself talking to the dog like I think he'll answer me. I sit at work and wish I was home... "our home".
The worst part, he has a new girl. They aren't boyfriend/girlfriend but she's always there. And even worse, I thought she was my friend. She was just pretending to be my friend cause she knew the break-up was coming. I want to hit her so bad. I want to hit him. How could he do this to me?
So now my question is, what do I do? I feel like I'm standing in the middle of a crowded room screaming and no one can hear me. I only live about 2 buildings away from him so I see her car there every day. He tells me he loves me, and kisses me. And then he goes home and is with her.
Did I cause this? Was I the reason he made me leave? What did I do? How do I fix it? Can it even be fixed?!?
All I ever wanted was to give him everything I had, everything I was... I just wanted to be his. And now that I'm not, I don't know what to do with myself. Someone... anyone... help.
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Posted by PinkKimy86 on 2007-12-27 14:33:55 | Rating: | Views: 88
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I'm sorry he turned out to be a loser, but you need to read what you just wrote! "he cheated on me and kicked me out of our apartment". Why is he kicking you out? You should have kicked HIS ass out. It was yours before it was his. He kept your dogs? WTF??? You need to stand up for yourself and not be a victim. He cheated on you. He's the piece of sh*t, not you. Take your life back. And the next guy you find, maybe he should be supporting himself. You know? If you treat a guy like your his momma, he's going to do the same. Don't take care of him. You need to find the real you. Not cook for him and give him everything he wants as a way of proving to yourself that he loves you. Love yourself. Maybe try meditation. And get an ass kicking hobby, like judo or something! I hope this isn't to harsh. I don't mean for it to be. I just hate to see a woman have her feelings of worth come from a man, or anyone but herself.
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Posted by random_person
on 2007-12-27 14:50:40
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give your self sometime to think.....
it is not worth to be this much sad,itss life....
visit my blog.....u may find the answers
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Posted by islamoasis
on 2007-12-27 15:29:46
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