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If anyone knew I was writing this blog, that would be the end of me. I'm starting this blog to share my pain and hurt. I don't feel like bottling it all in, like I have been for years. So, here it goes......
I was late for work yesterday....again....My boss called me into his office to have another "chat" with me. It consisted of him rubbing my back and thighs. I could really pay much attention to what he was saying because I was trying to figure out a way to get fired..then it hit me. I couldn't get fired even if I tried. My boss likes me too much. Sure, I could quit..but I'd get yelled at at home. This job DOES pay well and I need the money to help my mom and dad with the bills. My mom is an extreme ACHOHOLIC and my dad is a DRUGGIE. yeah, so now you know what most of their money goes to. My parents are the two people I'm scared of the most. Just to give you a little glimpse at WHY: WHen I was littler I left some crumbs for either a cookie or some sort of hard bread on the table. My mom saw that and didn't think twice about beating me for of an hour, and that's just what she did. My dad came home .high....and they started arguing. It ended up with my dad telling me I ruined their lives and I ended up sleeping in the coat closet that night.....and that was just over crumbs.
I was never really THAT scared of them, until my older brother joined the army, I knew that sometime he was going to have to leave. He's in Iraq now and I have seen him in 9 months. He told me, once he's home, that he'd come and get me...save me from our parents. HE was my hero....but now he's gone. I miss him so much.
My life isn't peaches ~n~ Cream. But I wish it was. I've been waiting and waiting for that break that I KNOW I deserve. I have no friends, no one to love me, HELL, I'm still a virgin...ha. This is the introduction to my life...the life I'll be blogging about. day after day. Until I feel the need to stop sharing what doesn't need shared anyway.
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Posted by Pillow_Pants on 2007-09-08 08:08:04 | Rating: | Views: 146
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Sorry that things have been so bad for you up to now but you have fellow bloggers here who are good people and some might even become friends. Don't give up!!
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Posted by scotslad60
on 2007-09-08 08:41:32
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Sometimes we have to stuggle to get where we want to be in life. I know how you feel i spent 13 years of my life in hell. My mom gave my brother and me up to my aunt who spent every moment of her life trying to make mine living hell and she did. My brother is now in jail for only god knows what.so im now along with no. but i dont let that get me down its because of the shit that happen to me when i was young that i now can say that my life is now Ok...Keep your head up. feel free to email me if you need to talk.
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Posted by Terid
on 2007-09-08 09:14:37
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Well i know how you feell well mine isnt that bad but im way younger than any of yous nd my life sucks well my dad smokes and sometimes he gets really peeved off and just pushes me out of the way EVEN IF IM NOT IN THE WAY! my mum well shes sick so its hard for her too. My sister shes haven it hard too and my little brother but ther hardley ever home so...Well you get it i hope you find yuur way i know it harder than it looks but anyway if you wanna chat email me.
kat..
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Posted by Brokeneyelinear
on 2007-09-08 10:26:26
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Keep your head up hon! You sound like a strong woman, don't give up! Things in life happen in seasons; you might be in a bad one now, but a good one will roll around eventually. Just stay true to who you are and don't compromise that for ANYTHIHG! And keep blogging, it helps to get your feelings out so they don't consume you!
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Posted by katebugs18
on 2007-09-08 23:10:00
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I agree with Kate here; writing has been my relies for more yours than you need to know. I also understand that the worst Hell is the one we keep in our head, away from other people's reach. Writing about it lets some of it out in an orderly way so that you can gain a perspective on it all.
We'll be around for you, P-P,
XXX
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Posted by Triforium
on 2007-09-09 03:27:51
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