You know, relationships are strange. Everyone we come in contact with we have some sort of relationship with them. We all know people we love, some we can’t help but like, some we like but find it hard to be around them for any length of time, some we find that there is just something about them that we don’t like, and then there are those that we could say we hate. Our feelings toward people is a wide spectrum, but it is also a circular spectrum, or, in other words, love and hate stand back to back and all other feelings fan out from there.
I say that love and hate are back to back because hate is just one step away from love and love is just one step away from hate. Hate is one betrayal from love and love is one heartfelt apology from hate. We can also have relationships that are a mixture of feelings we have toward another. We can have love/hate relationships where there is something about a person that we love, but there is also part of them that rubs us the wrong way. I guess you could say that I had kind of a love/hate relationship with a fellow Thoughts member that has passed away recently, Rocky5544.
My first encounters with Rocky were not good ones. I found him to be abusive, headstrong, opinionated, unyielding, and stubborn to the point of driving me crazy. We butted heads almost immediately in the forums. If you look in the forums you will find many “discussions” between me and Rocky right up to the time of his death. These discussions looked as if Rocky and I were on polar opposites and that we didn’t exactly like each other, to put it mildly. The truth is we really did like each other. We certainly disagreed on many things, but we did like each other and that gave us a bond of respect that made us both look forward to what the other’s response might be on any given issue.
Rocky was my perfect foil and I must have been his. We challenged each other’s views on the issues and he, being totally focused on his views, forced me to dig down inside myself and define what exactly I believed in myself. When I said Rocky and I had a love/hate relationship, I think the hate part for me, at least in the beginning, was his political views. I felt like if I could just shake him hard enough, he would come around and I’m certain he felt the same way about me, but I began to admire his tenacity. He was unbending and he always backed up why he felt a certain way. There was always a reason he felt the way he did and it gave him conviction in his beliefs. I have to admire a person that has reasons or beliefs that back their opinions and I admired Rocky for it.
We people at Thoughts knew hardly anything about Rocky’s personal life outside of he owned some kind of a security business, he was a Christian, and he had a son in the marines that he was very proud of. I received a letter from Rocky’s son Jordan after Rocky passed away that gave me some insight into Rocky the person instead of Rocky5544 the Thoughts guy. With Jordan’s permission I will now share the letter with everyone else:
Paul,
Thank you for your kind words. I am thankful I arrived home in time to see my father before he passed away. My mother also thanks you for what you have said, as well as the others.
My father was quite a character and had a tendency to not budge when he felt he was right. I have gone through many of his writings and saw where he could get right pushy when he wanted to. He only saw ideals as having an A or a B side and no middle. While it could irritate beyond all measure, it also allowed those who knew him to respect that he was steadfast in what he believed and did not change with a flip of the hat. He instilled in me values and a steadfast heart that allows me to lead my men with both passion and devotion.
My mom informed me that out of all the people he followed in here, you were the one he constantly talked about. He enjoyed having debates with you because as he said, you were the only one who knew what the hell you were talking about. What alot of people may not have known as I was unable to find it in his writings, the reason he left police work was a shooting that changed his life for good. Just a short time before he left being a police officer, he shot a young 13 year old who drew down on his partner. The young boy died on scene and my father never was the same. To the day he died, he struggled with many mental issues because of the shooting which affected just about everything. He became a little harder to deal with, but we still always knew he loved us. Maybe some of the ways he came across, stemmed from that.
I thank you for your conversations with him, as he looked forward to your responses to him. Your name was mentioned in the home almost as much as anyones in the last few weeks. My father was very generous with a few charities and left a little over 100k to donate to a few of his causes when he died. I and my family would be honored to add you name to one of the gifts along with thoughts. He had come to enjoy this place and had developed a deep appreciation for your views. While he may or may not have agreed with what you wrote, he always respected a person who knew why he believed in something rather than just believing without knowledge. We will be splitting what he left between three of his favorite causes which includes the Intrepid Fallen Hero fund, a Police charity for the families of fallen police officers, and a local homeless shelter.
We will be honored to place your name on the gift and again we all thank you for your part in my father's life. Little do we know the comfort we bring to strangers who we come into contact with. Thanks for the comfort you gave my father.
Jordan U.S.M.C.
We have many relationships in a lifetime. Some relationships are easy to define and some aren’t so easy. My definition of the relationship I had with Rocky is that I enjoyed his company. I think that pretty much sums it up. I’ll definitely miss him.
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