| View Blog
|
|
|
|
I was asked, "Why do things still hurt even when they happened so long ago?" When I think about questions like this I have to dig into areas I normally do not like to dwell in. These areas are in the heart. I use my heart a lot but I seldom purposely go to the areas where no man (or person in their right mind) wants to go. Being hurt is bad enough, but to relive it on purpose is....well...rejuvenating. You thought I was going to say insane or something didn't you?
What I found in my little trunk of pain, hurt, and humiliation were events that caused me great sorrow at one point in time that I had locked away so I wouldn't have to feel that sorrow any longer. It is a quick fix that I'm guessing we all do, but I know for a fact that I do it. These encounters with hurt shaped how I feel about different things. I am an empathetic person because of these hurts so I feel other people's pain as well as my own, or, at least I can place myself in other people's positions and understand their pain. When I look at hurts from this point of view, they almost seem like a gift, the gift of growing into a well-rounded person. I'm not suggesting we go around getting hurt just so we can grow and mature, but maybe if we looked at it like this, getting hurt wouldn't be nearly as hard on us when it does happen.
The question was why things still hurt when they happened so long ago, it's because we hang onto them. We tuck them away down there in the bottom of our heart somewhere thinking, well that's taken care of. I'm hurt but I'll put it down here with the rest of my hurts and get on with my life. Even though it was long ago, we have hung onto it and it stays kind of refrigerated in there with no expiration date. We can almost forget it is in there until we have to open it again on our next chance meeting with another hurt. It is when we are sad and hurt when all our memories of being sad and hurt appear.
If we could face our hurts as they happen and resolve them at the time they happen maybe then hurts would become part of our past and not keep reappearing in our present. To face our hurts, we might actually have to confront the person or persons who hurt us and let them know what their actions have done to us. We might actually have to forgive these people. When I used the term rejuvenating earlier I was talking about the feeling I got when I forgave the people who had hurt me over the years. When I opened that trunk positioned deep in the bottom of my heart, I found I had hung onto these memories of hurt for no other reason than I didn't know what else to do with them. Those people that hurt me are for the most part gone and I wondered if they are gone then why are the hurts still here?
I forgave those people that hurt me and I feel rejuvenated. Why do things still hurt even when they happened so long ago? We hang onto our hurts and they refresh themselves every time we get hurt again. Maybe if we confront the hurts as they happen, we will still get the gift, but the lingering memories of pain will dissipate with each act of forgiveness.
|
|
Posted by Pauligan on 2007-10-16 05:59:20 | Rating: | Views: 134
|
|
| |
|
|
| Blog Comments
|
|
|
|
They still hurt, because in our heads and heart, time does not exist.
A memory of pain will always have a power over us.
Our life is a string of memories...we cannot forget any of them.
The painful ones bring a tinge of pain always.
The good memories will bring a smile.
I can cry over something that happened 20 years ago, if I thought about it long enough.
Strange how we store memories...just like you said..a lil'chest of memories.
|
|
Posted by DifficultSoul
on 2007-10-16 14:46:58
|
|
|
|
|
We may not forget them but they don't have to have power over us, LftH.
|
|
Posted by Pauligan
on 2007-10-16 21:15:02
|
|
|
|
O Mr. Pauligan, you are such a wise old soul. So many of us think we do handle the sadness in our lives, when we really do tuck them away. They surface and many still won't face the pain, but turn it outward or inward. Addictions, self-contempt, outward-contempt are reflections of unresolved pain. As a sufferer of Body Dysmorphic Disorder, I do see how unresolved pain becomes so detrimental. Denial keeps us from growing and so many of us do that. Before we know it, we have developed unwanted coping behaviors which really causes us even more pain in the end.
Those who heal pursue faith, hope, and love. The love has to start with loving ourselves. Then comes forgiveness by loving others unconditionally. It takes perseverance and hard work and the will to change. So much more to it I'm afraid to say. Got to have that hope in order to move forward, yet there are many who feel hopeless and helpless in this life.
YOu are a good man Mr. Pauligan. An old soul you are.
Kim
|
|
Posted by Jesusmyvision
on 2007-10-17 00:37:13
|
|
|
|
|
Thanks Jmv, you know sometimes I feel like my soul has been around a whole lot longer than my body.
|
|
Posted by Pauligan
on 2007-10-17 05:11:51
|
|
|
|
|
|
Email This to a Friend 
