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Hope

I was asked by beyondw, “Is your life everything you'd hoped it would be? What's missing? She also has these questions on her site if you want to pop over there and answer it yourself.

My hopes have changed over the years. I hoped to be a cowboy and then a superhero when I was a kid...it didn't happen. I hoped to be a songwriter and ride the coat tails of my musician friends to fame and glory...it didn't happen. I hoped that I could just party my way through life and enjoy it to the end...it didn't happen. I hoped that different girls that I fell in love with would do the same with me…that didn’t happen either.

I've hoped a lot of things that didn't happen, thank God. What I hope and want at any particular time isn’t always what is best for me or even realistic. What kind of a superhero would I have made? I would look ridiculous in tights (a cool mask might be an improvement though). We humans do not see the big picture. We don’t know what there is up ahead, so our hopes can easily be misguided. I’ve wanted things so bad that it hurt me to think about it. I would curse God because my hopes were squashed. I knew what I wanted was what I needed. I knew I was being robbed of what I thought my future should be.

I seem to always find out later that had I gotten my wish, I would not be a happy man. Job positions that I thought were my destiny would end up going out of business. Woman that I thought I couldn’t live without become people that I don’t really even like to be around. The list goes on and on…just like life.

I look at my life as I have a free spirit crammed into a restrictive body that has to walk on this earth and make the best of the situation. I can hope for everything this body would want to make it happy, and I might even get it, but my spirit would suffer. The body never quits wanting and the more we give it, the more it wants, and so whatever we hope for, it is never enough. It just seems like the more we spoil our physical beings, the weaker our spirits become and we sink into utter despair when we don’t get one more thing that we hoped for.

Is my life everything I hoped it would be? No…thank God.

What's missing? The hope I once had to be, to want, and to get what I thought would make me happy, and thank God for that too.

Now I just follow a path knowing that whatever happens, things are going to be just fine...I'm connected.

Posted by Pauligan on 2007-09-29 07:20:40 | Rating:

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		Great post. Almost mirrors my life. Probably some others too. I've also accepted, (mostly), that where I am is exactly where Im meant to be, for whatever reasons that I usually never see.
Posted by scotslad60 on 2007-09-29 08:09:24


		Yeah, it's hard to tell without seeing the big picture, scots.
Posted by Pauligan on 2007-09-29 08:30:31


		This is wonderful Paul. Everytime I see a little boy with a cowboy hat..I will grin and think of you. I wanted to be an Indian when I grew up. My dad did not let us be Indians like we should have been. He actually banned me from any of the Indian religion. That made me sad. I wanted to be the Chief. Can you imagine me today walking around in a feathered headdress today? I also wanted to be a famous preacher/writer for God. I get to blog instead. I found out that I am too self conscious to stand in front of an audience. I discovered I could only be comfortable in front of children in a public speaking forum. Now picture me in a headdress preaching to children. Hey that sounds like a good Sunday School lesson. Dreams are just ideas that we have in life. Life is not about getting all that we want. It is when we do not get what we want..is the time we learn and grow the most. In a Spiritual sense. Scripture says that hardship is good for our characters. I never liked that idea...because I thought it would be nicer if we became our best when all of our wild imaginations came true. You figure it out. I have tried. I just know..that not having everything I wanted...keeps me being thankful for what I do have. Good post. You make me think...like way too much.
Posted by DifficultSoul on 2007-09-29 08:58:38


		I can picture you in a headdress, LftH. I think you would look quite noble, actually. You're right, hard times are what test our belief systems and make us appreciate what we end up with.
Posted by Pauligan on 2007-09-29 09:18:31


		I was once advised by priest to be careful what I asked my God for because I might have my prayer granted! Thanks for the great post.
Posted by bede on 2007-09-30 01:55:33


		The priest was a wise man, bede.
Posted by Pauligan on 2007-09-30 03:18:33


		Thank you for this post paul. I have just come to realise lately that what we hope for isn't always the best for us.If i had gotton what i want i would never have found the new me.
Posted by bubblydi on 2007-09-30 03:38:57


		I'm glad because i like the new you, Di.
Posted by Pauligan on 2007-09-30 08:26:35


		Is your life everything you'd hoped it would be? Forgive me that i can't read anymore.It's so late that i have to sleep. You did fantastic job. Keep in up!
Posted by feizhoujeep on 2007-09-30 12:55:19