Honesty seems to be such an elusive trait among human beings. We all lie for one reason or another. Sometimes it feels like it might be for a good cause, sometimes it might be to make ourselves appear to be better than we truly are, and sometimes it’s probably to hide our guilt. When we relate to other people, lying is one of our shields or our barriers of safety we rely on to survive in society.

We use it as a form of diplomacy when we tell people what they want to hear instead of what we really feel. It’s hard to tell a person when they ask us to critique them in some manner what we really feel about them. We could tell them the truth, but the truth might not be easy for them to swallow. It might hurt their feelings, so it is easier for us to tell them everything is just fine. After all, is it up to us to tell them their new haircut makes their face look like a monkey’s butt or the ashtray they made isn’t fit to put ashes in? Wouldn’t we be considered callous if we told people the absolute truth all of the time? We tend to soften the truth for consumption by adding some diplomacy. Instead of saying someone’s haircut makes their face look like a monkey’s butt, we can say something like, “It makes you look just like what’s their name from that Tarzan movie.” Let them guess which character you are referring to and throw in a line like, “I still like your hair better the other way.” There’s nothing wrong with little exaggerations that spare people’s feelings are there? You can be the judge.

Personally, I like it when people tell me the truth. I find a certain amount of bravery in people that are willing to tell someone the absolute truth, but the truth served absolute can, at times, be considered cruel. I will tell a friend when they have something hanging out of their nose, but I don’t have it in me to tell a person who loves to do something that they suck at doing it. I look at it like it’s only my opinion and not necessarily the absolute truth of what I perceive. I may be lying to myself, but it’s my way of living with myself.

We all stretch the truth in order in order to make ourselves better than what we know ourselves to be. Think back to any interview for work we have had to go through. We call it tooting our own horns or showing ourselves in the most positive manner we can so we can get the job. The same could be said of going on a date and primping ourselves to look better than we normally do. Isn’t make-up a lie? Think of the stories we have told about our past experiences. Aren’t we always the heroes in our own stories? Aren’t we all insecure enough to exaggerate our existence on some level? We know when people are blatantly lying about themselves. We also know that these people are probably the most insecure people on earth. They talk themselves up as big but we only see them as small, or, more accurately, they see themselves as small and talk themselves up as big and hope people swallow the lie. Don’t all of us have this in us to a degree? I know it’s in me and I’m not saying to what degree (haha). I may be lying to myself, but it’s my way of living with myself.

Guilt is a hard thing to take in as truths go. There are some guilts that we refuse to acknowledge just because our egos can’t stand the attack. We couldn’t be a good person if we acknowledge some hurtful things that we have done. We all do hurtful things. We do things that not only hurt others, but also hurt ourselves. We do things that hurt others and, in turn, it hurts us. We all have certain wants and needs and sometimes we hurt others trying to fulfill these wants and needs. On the flip side, not fulfilling our wants and needs can be hurtful to us. We can’t love without first loving ourselves and if we love ourselves, then we must fulfill at least our needs. If you are a person like me, I can feel guilty for looking out for my own interests over someone else’s. The truth about guilt is that we should temper our actions to match our ideals so that we can avoid it. I am guilty of some things, but I’m a good person. I may be lying to myself, but it’s my way of living with myself.

Honesty seems to be a luxury we can’t afford, but it is worthy enough to pursue. To be completely honest we would have to accept our personal humanness as an endearing quality, accept others’ personal humanness in the same way and learn that forgiveness truly is as close as we can get to being divine.

I may be lying to myself, but it’s my way of living with myself, honestly.