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Rubbish Day

Well this is my first post and its not going to be good either. just need to find some where to rant really. So sorry for that in advance. Life is pretty crappy at the moment. job wise things are bad. missed out on a new job at work. they tried to make it look prettier tho my offering me a bonus and going on some course, but to be fiar would preffered the job. Then had to break the news to the other half. Thats where things really took a noise dive to the bad.
Things haven't been that great anyway. Split a few months ago for a short time and have been trying since. But arguement keep cropping up. I do love her but things just haven't been going well. whatever i seem to do at the moment bad luck hits me making things worse for us all. Like this job. Things were looking good. Recomendations from bosses being told love to promote internally, doing the right things to get the job etc etc only to be told that the post was being ended. so now she says its over. I don't know what to do. she says we can be friends and all this then goes on to say she is going to start dating and would i like to know when she does go out on dates? Why the hell would i like to know. i told her i want to make us work. i know we can if we try. i stormed off at this point - about the dates - she then got cross that i walked out. but why would i stay to answer questions like that. what response does she expect. me to be all "ok let me know that'll be fine i'll look after the kids tonight" it just ridiculous.
i just don't know what to do at them moment. i don't want things to get any worse. She feels i have let her down to many times. my money problems have hampered us for years. it has in many ways effected our quality of life as we can't always do the things that maybe we could of done if i didn't have all this debt. then she doesn't like my job. i don't earn enough. i keep trying to get new jobs but nothing. then recently with this promotion looking good i basically put all my eggs in one basket and stopped looking. i do have a second job but thats not great and when we argue she uses it agianst me saying that is an embrassement doing the second job even thou she suggested i go for it.
i am cross with her as well if i admit it. she says i have lied to her, and i don't think i have, but i know she has been lying to me. i know this sound really bad but i checked her texts one day and when she had told me one thing it turned out she was trying to meet up with an ex. this had been mentioned all incocently in the past but i did say i didn't trust him but did trust her. i thorught he may well try something. but why not tell me she was meeting him. that has made it worse.
i could go on. but i will leave it there for now. god this makes for bad reading. so i am sorry if you have read this. i am dreading going home as i don't want to argue with her, but will see how the night goes....