So while I was at work today my mom came in and informed me that my Grandfather is dieing. At first I didn't believe her. But then she started crying and told me that my unkle Ronnie called at told her that last night him and my Grandmother got into a fight and he was screaming that he just wanted to die and if there was really a God out there he would just let him die. 
     This morning my Grandma woke up and my Grandpa wasn't breathing. She called 911 and they took him to a hospital there in Kansas. He's on life support and don't expect him to make it through the night. We're nearly 1,300 miles away and my grandma informed us not to come down there because he's willed himself this way and if he's going to die he's just going to die. And that we shouldn't waste our time coming. 
           I don't want him die. I love him so much. And I don't know what the hell to do so I'm going to drink and have ice cream it helps with a break up so I suppose it will help with dealing with the possibilities of my grandfather dieing. Right?
   I really wish I wasn't half way across the country. I don't want him to go before I can tell him how much I love him and that I'm going to miss him. And I want to be able to tell him bye before he goes. This isn't fair. Why isn't anything ever fair?!?! I don't understand why he's just got to die. IT SEEMS LIKE A PRETTY SELFISH DAMN THING TO GO OFF AND DO!!! Well I'm off to get drunk and eat ice cream. I hope you all have a wonderful night.