Like there's a reason to everything, there's a reason why I do this. There's a reason why I didn't go on MSN for about 2 days. There's a reason why I test people. There was also a reason why I hid Shane from everybody. The..Reason, why I didn't go on MSN was, well, I just didn't want anyone asking how I felt. Because, in all honesty, I hate lying to my friends. But if I have too, then I will. I was brought up, knowing that I was usless, only there to help other people, and now it's sorta making sense. 2 days ago, I had 16 suicide cases to sort out. After 2 days, I've got 12. 4 people have died because I wasn't online to take the shit they give me. Wow, amazing what I live for... I finding it even harder now to control myself. I'm getting angry at nothing. I have to calm down, but it is hard. I feel like I'm falling apart, that I'm failing in everything. I'm not eating as much, I haven't had a good nights sleep in 2 months. What the hell can I do? Good luck to me and long live to you.