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| I'm beginning to doubt my intentions...
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SO , after the Ex put the breaks on our relationship, and after I have become less angry- I feel really resigned to the relationship I had/would have with him. I don't feel like going through with things, I don't feel like putting up with it. I don't feel like being physically intimate with someone who is so uncertain about me. I don't feel like joking around with him when we hang out when I am really thinking: WHY ARE YOU ACTING SO FAKE? WHY CAN'T I GET THE REAL YOU?
And his constant pot smoking. And his apathy to the everyday grind.
Do I see myself growing with him?
In a way I have...some of the things he has told me have really bolstered my feelings of self worth, as he is a realist/optimist just like me and so he speaks my language.
BUT- he changes his feelings/ statements on such a regular basis. It's like: what? Do you really mean this? What about all the other things you have told me?
I am angry still a little. Angry at how I thought something so quick could be the genuine article.
BUT- I feel affirmed in my ability to take on the world, dating and otherwise.
WHY THE FUCK DO RELATIONSHIPS MATTER SO MUCH ALL OF A SUDDEN??? I DO NOT WANT TO BE SLAVE TO MY DESIRES.
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Posted by Omphalos on 2008-07-25 11:44:00 | Rating: | Views: 30
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