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Not fun.

“And I, I never thought I'd leave behind my childhood dreams. But I don't mind, for now I love the world I see. No change of heart, a change in me. For in my dark despair, I slowly understood my perfect world out there had disappeared for good. But in its place I feel a truer life begins...”

It has been a while since I last updated. Needless to say according to the quote, all is not well. Since my last post, all has gone downhill. I had planned on attending Johnson and Wales in the fall to pursue my dream of becoming a chef, but as of this weekend, I've had to withdraw my application because I no longer have the resources to be able to attend. My father has cut me off from everything. Without my fathers help, it is impossible for me to finish my financial process for JWU. My father has can canceled my insurance, and has basically disowned me without going through the governmental process of it. I am now sitting at work, writing and eating through my shame. My father has made it plainly clear that I am to move out and go off on my own because he'll have nothing more to do with me. Hence leading to this current moment of me searching for a place to live. I hope to find a place within a month. But only time will tell now. I also need to find another job so when I do get a place of my own, I can manage the rent, and utilities, and other stuff. The more I reflect on it, the more I think that this is maybe for the best. Maybe this way, everyone will grow up. I am very mature for being the age that I am, but I still have some growing up to do. And maybe it will help my sister and brother, who know all about my plans, maybe it will help them to mature. I am now waiting for my best friend to get on line (i am connecting to my AIM through my phone) so I can talk to him. I so desperately need to. But no luck as of yet. Well, I need to get back to eating. I'm starved. Literally.

Au Revior

Odango

“A Change In Me” from Beauty and the Beast Broadway Musical, sung by Susan Egan