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| This Economy Will Kill Me.........Period
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That's right.........I started a company a little over two years ago and sales started dropping in November of 2007. I've fired non-producers and cut all spending possible so that I steal hand towels out of the bathroom for our kitchen. I buy our coffee at Jack's 99 cent store. It has been stressful as hell and quite honestly I'm starting to get scared I might not make it.............I've had hard times in the past two years but there is so much negative news and talk out there it is bringing me down. Until two years ago I was an employee and the money I made was directly proportional to the amount and quality of work I performed. Now my income is based on the performance of others. The 20 people that work for me. If they dont' produce then I'm fucked. I have one hell of a difficult job downplaying the recession and still pushing people to work hard. Always be positive even though in my mind..........I'm scared out of it. I've been in tough times before and I will not go down without a fight but I am so pissed and depressed that it has come to this. If it does fall apart, I'm totally fucked. I've personally guaranteed $450,000 to my landlord, $50,000 to Dell, $35,000 line of credit to my bank and I will owe money to the IRS and State of New York. Luckily, I'm in my early 30's so I can get it over with quickly. I called my mother the other day and told her that if things get worse I may just throw my cell phone in the hudson river and disappear for a year or two. Hopefully she threw out a prayer for me.........it's been too long since I said a prayer for it to count...........or Jesus to listen.........
I come from a small town and my family has no money. I've been very fiscally conservative and made some real estate deals. Before I was 30 I had over $200,000 in savings and that is what I used to start my business. Now I stand to be not only broke........but my credit ruined and over half a million dollars worth of debt coming after me. I'm scared out of my mind and quite depressed..............I always tell my fiance........."We'll be fine, if it was that easy then everybody would do it."........... at this moment..........i'm starting to lose faith....just when i need it the most. Becoming a failure to my friends and family has scared me the most......... They are so proud of me right now........... I can't even express my pain....... here we go.......
Credit crunch got you down?
Bear Stearns no longer around
Went through the Great Depression
But not this recession
135 dollars per barrel
no longer kegs....just oil
Lehman the next to drop
please Lord make it stop
Unemployment is rising
My heart is crying
don't want to destroy my life
So sick of the strife
skin burns in pain
no more insane
slice my arm so i feel
blood drips.....must be real
tension crushes my mind
peace I cannot find
i wish i was blind
a job at walmart would be kind........
no stress.......just kind
heart pumps and sweats
lungs burn and regrets
all decisions i've made
happiness forever fades
bang my head to the wall
"Nutshell" for us all
Life I can no longer live
Fear got me, joy a myth
Ownership a lie
Soon I may die
Depression sets in
Roof focusing in
36 floors to the ground
wind in face, no sound
failure to friends I will not face
may have to......
may have to.......
depart this place............
life.
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Posted by Nutshell on 2008-06-15 00:30:53 | Rating: | Views: 127
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hi, dropped by... wanted to tell you regardless .. you are NOT A FAILURE.
I really hope things pick up for you and your business. If I prayed, I'd say one for you.
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Posted by EasyToSay
on 2008-06-15 08:04:41
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I agree with e2s...You are not a failure no matter what happens..remember that.I can introduce to you to some failures if you really want to meet some....OMG could I! You are a success story having a difficult time right now...huge difference...good luck sweetie...S/K
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Posted by lastblastkl
on 2008-06-15 21:51:58
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The fact that you had the guts to leave a cushy job and go into business for yourself is more than enough evidence to prove you are NOT a failure. I hope things turn around for you and soon.
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Posted by Meredith
on 2008-06-16 11:41:47
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